I shook listening to the jury acquit Casey Anthony of all charges this afternoon.
HOW? Okay, I know how. Reasonable doubt. The 12 men and women on a jury of her peers did not feel that the evidence was strong enough to convict her of anything tying her to the murder of her daughter - whether accidental or intentional. That's it, and we have to accept that. That's the way our judicial system works.
It's a good thing I wasn't a jury member. We would have had a hung jury. A mistrial. There is no way I could have walked out of that jury room without convicting her of SOMETHING. Maybe not Murder 1. But something. There was no reasonable doubt for me. You don't just have your daughter one day and not have her the next. You don't just lie and drink and party and screw guys and get tattoos when your daughter is missing or killed. You don't unless you are guilty. It's just that simple.
For me, at least.
I'm sad. I'm ashamed. Mostly, I'm just disgusted. There will never be justice. There will never be closure. There will never be a resolution.
It's not fair.
I talk about fairness a lot when it comes to infertility, and this very much relates. It's not fair that a woman can care so little about her own child, murder her, and walk away. It's not fair that while she go free, her daughter is dead. It's not fair that some of us want so badly to be mothers and others will so easily give up that gift.
My heart hurts tonight.
It hurts for the Anthony family. No matter how much you spin it, they are victims in this, too. They will never see that little girl again, and they will never get answers about her death.
Mostly, though, it hurts for Caylee. Here was a little girl who was so innocent and loveable - taken from us far too soon. She never got the chance she deserves. She never got the parenting she deserves. And now we know she will never get the justice she deserves.
I'll end with what I wrote on Facebook after the verdict. As someone who can't have children, it makes me sick to see a mother murder her own child and get away with it. Prison might not be in Casey Anthony's future, but I hope hell is.