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Tuesday, June 14, 2011

"why" i'm watching

I'm obsessed with the Casey Anthony trial.

You already know that if you follow me on Twitter. Some people have actually unfollowed me for the commentary on the trial. (Which is amusing. I don't unfollow you because you talk about breast feeding 24/7. So please, spare me.)

I know, it's weird. I tease people for watching shows like 16 and Pregnant and Teen Mom wondering, "Why on earth do you torture yourself by watching that?" And here I am. Watching, listening, reading about, and talking about a mother who (allegedly) murdered her child and dumped the body. Why would I put myself through that?

To start, I live about 10 miles away from where Caylee's body was found. I work even closer. This trial is all that people talk about in Orlando, because it's by far the worst thing that's ever happened here. Yes, murders happen all the time in this city. But it's for drugs or it's gang related. It's not a mother killing her baby. Not like this, anyway. In a sense, it reminds me of the Laci Peterson case: an otherwise "normal" city disturbed by a complete sociopath.

So a lot of it has to do with geography. If I lived in Montana, I'm sure my interest in the case would be minimal. But I drive past the area where Caylee was found every day to and from work. And do you know what I think about when I drive past it? How things could have been different. How that little girl deserved a better life. And how badly I want to see justice for her death.

One of my best friends asked me last week how I could watch this. She asked if it was hard. Yes, it's hard, and I know that I can easily turn my cheek and look the other way. I can easily turn off the newsfeed and go about my business. Yet I can't. I have to know what happens. I have to know if there will be punishment for that little girl's death. I have to know what happens to Casey. I can't understand what she did. No one will ever understand. But this trial is the closest answer I get to the question, "Why?"

Why did a sweet little girl like Caylee have to die? How can a mother take her daughter's own life, and then act like nothing ever happened?

And why do people like Casey become mothers instead of us?

17 comments:

PCOSChick said...

As you know, I am addicted too & people ask me the same thing. I just keep saying people like you & I would have adopted that little girl if she wasnt wanted & given her a home. I guess I watch for Caylee...to see justice & to see that a little girl that I could have loved so & other kids like her, get to rest in peace.

manymanymoons said...

There is no telling exactly why we are infatuated with some things more than others, you just know that you feel drawn to it. I am equally fascinated with tv shows that aren't real so I think it is even more logical that you should be hooked on something that is so close to your real life.

When I read your commentary on Twitter I almost feel like I don't have to watch the news that night. You give a great play by pay. :)

Secret Sloper said...

I would never unfollow you for this. You keep up so I don't have to (the story's not getting much play in New York-- we've got a congressman's penis to worry about 24-7). Plus, you're hilarious.

And I understand why you are drawn to the memory of that little girl.

Marla said...

I don't have a problem with your tweets. I don't have access to the trial (no cable), so at least I have a general idea as to what's going on, thanks to you. And it's way before I hear about it on Breaking News or People.com. Lol! The case intrigues me, so keep it up! :)

Keiko said...

"And why do people like Casey become mothers instead of us?"

Like a sucker punch to the gut. Great post.

Marybeth said...

You can put your watching into much better terms than I can. I have a fascination with this case that I can't really explain. I do share your views very much, but I'm missing the main component of proximity like you have. I guess I feel like I want justice for her too above all else. That little girl never deserved to have her life cut short, and I'm sick that women like Casey can conceive when we can't. I'll be back on twitter this afternoon when coverage starts back up again. I'm sure I'll see you later :)

Rebecca said...

I am sort of oddly fascinated by the trial but also trying to stay away from it as much as possible. But, I can definitely understand why you're drawn to it.

And, yep, it is beyond unfair.

Glass Case of Emotion said...

that must be so very strange to drive past that area every day, gives me chills. I don't know why but I am fascinated by the trial too... it's just so strange.

Courtney said...

Damn work keeps me from watching the trial ;o)

I can't believe people have actually unfollowed you for tweeting about the trial. WOWZA.

When I can watch it, I watch it to make sure this little girl gets the justice she so deserves. Her so called Mother deserves everything that hopefully comes to her!

Tarah said...

I haven't had time to follow it closely but I am interested in the outcome. I want justice for that little girl too - and I want her "mom" to pay for what she did.

Rebecca said...

Often I ask myself the same, "why?" when I hear similar news stories. If folks want to have a child its their business. But if they want to abuse and kill that child they better be prepared for the consequences. If only we could tell in advance if a person would be a good parent and let their child live, but we can't. I feel so bad that Caylee never got to grow up.

Kim said...

I think that it's so close to home for you on so many levels that's hard not to follow it. I think I would too if it was a local case. And why she gets a child and we dont, I'll never know. let me know if and when you figure out that answer.

Roxane G. said...

Heck, I just added you to my follow list just for this post! I watch as well and question the entire time how this woman could be blessed with a child only to throw it all away when others of us have to spend countless dollars on only a dream of a child.

Dawn said...

I watch it and think the same thing. I can't imagine it being a local news story.

Trisha said...

A question I don't think we'll ever have the answer to! It's funny how different things can just suck us right in :)

Logical Libby said...

I don't think it's the fact she killed her, but just her callous disregard to the crime. Really, no remorse.

I don't understand how someone can be like that.

AL said...

I enjoy your commentary on twitter about the trial - i feel like it keeps me in the loop a bit about what's going on and I love all the shit you talk about Baez and Casey. cracks me up :-)