Friday, April 1, 2011

i'm not laughing

Today is April Fools Day.

I've always hated this day. There's something about practical jokes makes me cringe. It could be because I'm generally a gullible person. I don't enjoy plastic spiders on my desk or fake snakes by the door.

And I certainly don't enjoy the ever-popular joke of, "I'm pregnant." There's nothing funny about being pregnant. Or not being pregnant.

That joke isn't funny to the receivers of that message who've recently suffered a miscarriage or who are battling infertility. It's not funny to those who are busy worrying whether their baby will be alive on your next ultrasound or those feeling sadness and relief over a negative beta that means their baby is gone but that they can finally try to get pregnant again. There's nothing funny about losing a twin, getting horrible news after an NT scan, going through a disrupted adoption, or the pain of an ectopic pregnancy - all things I've watched friends endure.

And there's nothing funny about the fact that, when the practical jokester actually DOES get pregnant, she will be THAT bitch. The one who whines incessantly about how much she hates the morning sickness or how much weight she's gained (while the rest of us listen in and secretly want to punch her square in her nose).

So if you're thinking about posting an "I'm pregnant!" Facebook status today to get some laughs, and some much-needed attention for your pathetic soul, please think twice about the people on the other end of that joke. Because I guarantee they aren't laughing.

Neither am I.

32 comments:

foxinthehenhouse said...

Thanks for this. I got one of these on FB today. The poster has FOUR kids (one is adopted). It actually wouldn't be surprising if it were true. Either way, it hurts that people take it for granted.

Dawn said...

Those people are assholes. Your post made me go look and no fake announcements today, but maybe it's best I just stay off the internet!

AL said...

agree 100%. it's not funny. we got an april fool's pregnancy announcement in the MAIL yesterday - it was a part of a family update letter that also included no kids planned for in the near future. good luck "planning" them, ppl. gah.

Beth said...

I thought I was the only one who felt this way. Thanks for showing me I'm not alone.

Marybeth said...

Thanks for writing this. And if I see someone play that "I'm pregnant" joke on facebook today I'm more than likely going to fly off the handle! Heard the storms are moving out and I hope you have a nice weekend. Oh and I love the new header on your blog!

manymanymoons said...

I ran into one of those "jokes" this very morning. From someone who has been through this crazy infertility crap too! It took my breathe actually.

Rita said...

Ugh, actually ran across one of these on an IF blog this morning. What is wrong with people?

Amanda said...

I hate April Fool's day too..I feel on edge the whole time.

Completely agree, this is a stupid and cruel 'prank'.

Gurlee said...

I just saw one of those dumb fake pregnancy announcements on FB. Not only is it obnoxious but it totally unoriginal. Ugh

Rebecca said...

Yeah, I've seen one on an IF blog today already. I was so incredibly happy for her...and then pissed. Ha ha, so funny.

I know that there is a temptation to do it. I can feel that temptation. It would feel so nice for it to be true. But, seriously, actually doing it is just not funny at all.

Jin said...

::golf clap::

What? There's an IFer doing that?

Molly said...

I hate April Fool's, too. I hate seeing things and getting all happy for people, only to find out they lied. I think that is what it boils down to - I don't like being lied to about things.

Secret Sloper said...

There was a teeny tiny part of me that was just barely tempted to post something like that today-- because it *is* true. But, a) I am just not that flippant about this pregnancy; b) I would never want to hurt my friends who are still struggling, and c) I am not anywhere near the "let's all tell funny jokes about this" stage.

But there was that one moment of temptation, even though I fully agree that the jokes are stupid and annoying.

Willow said...

Yuck, why would that ever be funny?! I haven't seen one of these but now I'm scared I will.

That's funny tho Sloper--when I realized what day it was I was like, "good thing I didn't decide to announce today--no one would believe me!" which actually--of the few people we've told so far about this pregnancy, TWO response "Seriously?". Um, yeah, not something I would ever, EVER joke about!

AnotherDreamer said...

Well said! I almost wasn't going to log in on FB today at all because I didn't want to risk seeing any of those. I'm hoping people on my friends list have enough common sense not to post it.

I remember in winter there was a "we're expecting again! that's right we're expecting snow again" and it was sooooo stupid, and I wanted to punch them in the face with my words.

Sushigirl said...

Ugh. My worst one was when a male friend announced that another friend's girlfriend was pregnant as a 'joke'. I was really upset but trying not to show it and then, when he said it was for a laugh, I just thought just thought that was sooooo not amusing. It's even more awkward when it's about someone else.

Melissa G said...

I totally agree. This might actually be a great thing to post on FB - If I actually went there anymore..

Hugs.

Tiffany said...

I couldn't have said it better myself. My ignorant cousin, (mail cousin) who is expecting just posted they are having twins. Uh..you are like 30 weeks along...you are not just now finding out that it's twins. Such a stupid april fool's...and so not amusing.

Jen said...

I can't imagine someone posting that on FB as a joke. I have never seen that, thankfully! Good god, so not funny!

Tillie said...

I will never be happier than when this day is over. Stupid bloggers. Stupid Facebookers. Seriously?!?!

Baby Steps said...

I agree with Mel - if I even bothered with Facebook anymore, it would be a good thing to post on there.

Kelly said...

I've never had anyone do this to me (or on FB), thankfully! Triple BAM!

Stephanie said...

What a great post! I've seen a couple of these going around the blogosphere today. And sadly I've seen a couple going around Fb posts as well. Not funny, not at all. My eyes let tears flow and my heart felt full when I read your words about the negative beta. I've told you before, but again, you're an amazing writer. You seemed to put my own situation into words better than I could. Hugs to you!

Brave IVF Girl said...

Well said.

Luckily, none of my FB friends have pulled this one (although I got a notice I'm being lapped a day or two ago...)

*hugs*

Tammy @ Palm Trees & Manatees said...

Well said! :)

JJ said...

Yup Ive never been a *big* fan, but I especially like to hibernate on this day from FB and all that crap that leads to those not so funny comments.

Adele said...

I hate April Fool's, too. And as far as an "I'm Pregnant" prank...it's the equivalent to telling the world: "I'm stoopid!" (I didn't even know that people did that on Facebook...yet one more reason not to resuscitate my account).

Becca M said...

AMen. People just don't get it sometimes.

Ashley said...

Amen! I hate april fool's pregnant jokes. They are just NOT funny!

someday-soon said...

I got a face annoucement of FB from a girl I went through IVF with...WTF, she should know better =( Hope you didn't get any!

Logical Libby said...

The worst is when someone thinks you're going to make the "I'm pregnant" joke and does it for you. Yeah, that one stings.

April said...

I don't even know how I ended up on this blog, but I've appreciated hearing your perspective, and I've been there, too. My husband and I adopted in 2008 after almost 8 yrs of marriage, 5 IUI's, 1 surgery, 3 YEARS of Clomid (that's not pretty) and somewhere around $10,000 spent on trying to get pregnant, with absolutely no success. Today, I couldn't care less about getting pregnant, and would rather adopt again. In fact, I'm doing a fundraiser to get the ball rolling. I can go to a baby shower, I can go to church on Mother's Day, I can visit a new mom in the hospital without crying (and Ativan) and other seemingly insignificant things that fertile women take for granted. I hope your adoption process is going well. Be prepared for some ignorant and hurtful comments, but don't let them get you down. Some people will always be oblivious idiots!