When you want something that someone else has, odds are they want something that you have just as badly if not more than the thing you want in their life. Not that you want their LIFE. You just want whatever part of their life you think is perfect. Take all of us, for instance. We all want babies, correct? Children we can raise and love as our own. Your best friend has a baby. Why can't you? But the reality is that your best friend might be looking at your house, your marriage, your relationship with family, your job, etc. and saying, "Why can't I have that?"
I've never gotten what I wanted. Ever. Good things don't happen to me. But it's funny that, when they do, I still am not satisfied. I am the worrier, as Joey calls me. I worry about a million things. I look for hidden meanings. I wait for the other shoe to drop. This is me. This is what I do. My fear with the other shoe dropping only multiplied by a trillion after doctors told me I was infertile. I learned to anticipate the bad and become pleasantly surprised when the pendulum swung the other way. (Which, let's face it: instances of this are rare for me.)
What I'm trying to say is that there's a part of me who might always be negative - or maybe a realist? Okay, no. Just . . . negative. When something good happens, my first reaction is either, "Why me?" or "What's the catch?" or "What in the absolute hell is going to happen NOW? Because surely this means something terrible is coming next."
Am I the only person like this? Am I the only person who simply cannot grasp situations and move forward? There are so many nights when I just wish that I could turn my brain OFF and let it rest. The wheels are constantly turning (worrying), and I get sick of it. How can I learn to let things go and let things happen the way that they are meant to happen? How can I learn to live and let the universe take control - let life ebb and flow on its own?
(My apologizes for being vague and scatterbrained with this post, but it's how my mind feels at the moment.)