Wednesday, December 31, 2008

see you never, 2008

It's been one hell of a year--so many things I want to remember, and a few I want to forget. Here's to hoping 2009 will be an amazing year. I think there will be a few surprises in store.

Happy New Year, everyone.

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

goals for 2009

I'm not one for making any New Year's resolutions. If I tell myself I need to exercise more, the likelihood of that actually happening is slim to none. However, I do like to set goals for myself. I always see a list of goals as different from a resolution I make at midnight, often times after having five glasses of champagne.

Last night, while trying to fall asleep, I thought of a few goals I have for the next year. Some of these are individual goals, and some are goals I have with Joey:

1. Get pregnant (A carryover from 2008. We'll begin to find out if this is even possible on February 3.)
2. Become a homeowner
3. Buy new living room furniture (This may not seem like a big deal to some people, but it is to me. This couch is the most uncomfortable thing I've ever had the privilege of owning.)
4. Take a vacation that doesn't involve visiting family
5. Get promoted to Assistant Editor (This one has a subgoal: Acquire my first book.)
6. Finish my novel

Those are the six I can think of off the top of my head. I'm sure this is a list I will be adding to, and updating, later.

Sunday, December 21, 2008

hello, cycle #8

Cycle #7 has left me. So sad.

And look how perfect my chart looked.

Monday, December 15, 2008


Function: adjective
Definition: devoid of sensation;
devoid of emotion; indifferent
That's me. That's what TTC has made me.

Another BFN.
One more cycle to get this done naturally.

At least I didn't get my hopes up this time.

Friday, December 12, 2008

am i ovulating?

Sometimes I think the last two cycles (cycle 6 and this cycle, cycle 7) I haven't been ovulating. I think this because: My temps have become somewhat weird and unpredictable.

I used to ovulate LIKE CLOCKWORK on CD 14. Last cycle, Fertility Friend couldn't predict my O date. This cycle, it says CD17, but I'm not convinced. Usually I can sense the change in my body. Does that make sense? But I haven't felt that way the past two cycles. Maybe I'm crazy, or maybe it's just a woman's intuition. I guess that's something for my doctor to determine in February.

In any case, if I did O on CD17, I am now officially 7 DPO. Why do I feel like I've been stuck on cycle #7 for FOREVER?

Off the TTC subject, we got our first "heavy" snow last night. Driving in it was maddening since Southerners don't know how to drive in any form of winter weather. But I loved it. We live just south of the city, and ended up getting the most snowfall. And by "heavy" snowfall, I mean 3 inches. But it was beautiful and I didn't want to come to work. It melted by noon, but it's keeping my hopes alive for a white Christmas in Music City.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

lots of happenings

I am in desperate need of an update. Here's a rundown of what's been going on the past few days:

1. The Gators won the SEC Championship! Woo hoo! They are also headed for their second BCS Championship in two years. It's great to be a Florida Gator. I'm still in search of tickets to the big show in Miami.

2. I got a really nice raise and year-end bonus, which was a miracle considering the way the economy is right now. So many publishing companies have already gone through layoffs, hiring freezes, and acquisition freezes. Our company is pretty much the only one in our industry making money. I realize how lucky I am compared to a lot of people out there.

3. Joey met Faith Hill at work today. That's not really an update, but just something I had to throw out there for fun.

Hopefully I'm not missing out on any other big events. Still plugging along in the 2WW, but I don't have a great feeling about this cycle. Ugh. I will have to compose a more deep and meaningful post later. I just don't have time right now.

Saturday, December 6, 2008

orange and blue

My temp FINALLY rose, meaning I O'ed. Thank God. I think I would have thrown out my thermometer this morning if my temp didn't rise about 98.

Kind of funny thing happened when I went to take my temp this morning though. I woke up and as I'm taking out my BBT from the nightstand, I'm thinking to myself, "Please just let my temp rise. I know I've ovulated and I can't take this anymore!" So I stick the BBT in my mouth and I'm looking at it while the temp is rising. It starts at 34 then slowly keeps rising to 35. What the hell! My mind starts racing and I start getting upset, thinking, "Great! Either my temp is that low, and I'm dying, or my BBT is broken, and I'm not going to have a good reading. What a waste!" Then it hit on me. I must have pressed the button again by accident after I turned on the BBT and the setting switched to Celsius. I couldn't help but laugh. I felt like such an idiot. Obviously I switched the setting back to Fahrenheit and retook my temp. Pretty funny morning!

At any rate, this means I'm *officially* on my 2WW. I've told myself I'm not going obsess over IPS this cycle, but we'll see how long that lasts. But really, there's nothing left to do but wait. Will cycle #7 be my last for nine more months? We'll see! I certainly hope.

Luckily, there's a big event today to take my mind off of TTC: The SEC Championship Game. The Gators versus the Crimson Tide. I'm so excited and antsy. It'll be a great game and I really hope Florida can pull it out. I was at the SEC Championship game two years ago when we won and then ended up winning the National Championship game, and I wish I could be there again today. Hopefully a win over Bama is enough to send us to Miami for the National Title again.

It's great to be a Florida Gator!

Friday, December 5, 2008

is it safe to scream?

According to my temps, I still haven't ovulated.


My temp DROPPED again this morning. Still no positive OPK. My cervix is hardly open anymore. I am so over this. What happened?! I used to ovulate so regularly. CD14 and it was over. Now it's like my body is trying to torture me each cycle. Am I even ovulating anymore? Who the hell knows?! My mind is tired. My body is tired. I feel like I could burst into tears at any moment. This isn't fun anymore.

I am not fun anymore.

Monday, December 1, 2008


Using OPKs has taken my obsession with TTC to a whole new level. I SWEAR I'm ovulating today, but I can't get a freakin positive OPK to save my life. When will the madness end? How far will I take this "adventure"? How healthy is it to live, think, and breathe TTC? Don't answer that.

Somedays I think I'm one short fuse away from having a total and completely irrational mental breakdown.

Now excuse me while I go pad the walls.