tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-76744658434757188922012-01-27T22:05:08.530-06:00my journey from infertility to motherhoodKatiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10967680758286067000noreply@blogger.comBlogger5071100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7674465843475718892.post-27772421561834795652012-01-26T07:51:00.000-06:002012-01-26T07:51:27.318-06:00

Leave it to me to create a mess. I don't typically like getting too political, whether it's here or on my Twitter and Facebook pages. I do like an occasional joke, and have told them at the expense at both political parties, but I also understand and respect the fact that everyone is entitled to their own opinion. However, I do like to post articles that affect women's health - particularly in

Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10967680758286067000noreply@blogger.com43tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7674465843475718892.post-52430636539791720052012-01-23T17:25:00.001-06:002012-01-23T17:25:06.174-06:00

This afternoon, the director of the women's center where I had both my mammogram and my MRI called me. She wanted to give me the news herself: my MRI came back normal. They want me to keep an eye on the area. They also recommend a follow-up in six months and yearly mammograms from this point forward. But right now, I'm breathing a huge sigh of relief. No cancer. No surgery. Thank you to those

Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10967680758286067000noreply@blogger.com29tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7674465843475718892.post-26209292372240397102012-01-21T09:26:00.000-06:002012-01-21T09:26:02.066-06:00

My apologies for the radio silence this week on the blog and for not being very active with commenting right now. It's been a busy week. I had my MRI yesterday, but the radiologist who was there to give me the results of the mammogram was not there yesterday - which means I have to wait until sometime next week to get more information. I wish I had more news for you. I'm sorry I don't. So, while

Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10967680758286067000noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7674465843475718892.post-22992438331648734542012-01-15T11:21:00.001-06:002012-01-15T11:21:29.993-06:00

I arrived at the Women's Center for Radiology on Friday not really knowing what to expect. As I was signing in at the front desk, one of the women behind the counter was talked about what would happen "if no one showed up and we all got dressed up for nothing." I resisted the urge to say something until one of the other women asked for my name, which lead to an "oh" response. As in, oh shit...

Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10967680758286067000noreply@blogger.com24tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7674465843475718892.post-13254679045590556412012-01-13T10:02:00.000-06:002012-01-13T10:03:22.245-06:00

1. I received an email on Wednesday from the news reporter who is working on the story about my mammogram. Apparently, he reached out to a local awareness group for quotes about this story, and they offered me one sooner than February 1. I’m scheduled for a state-of-the-art, 3D mammogram this afternoon. 2. Emotionally I'm doing much better than I was earlier in the week. I actually decided to

Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10967680758286067000noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7674465843475718892.post-81761559434718888732012-01-10T07:44:00.000-06:002012-01-10T07:44:11.359-06:00

In the past 9 days, I've gone from being blah about the holidays to positive about the new year to a 10,000 foot drop into the depths of depression. I don't want to get into the reasons why on here, but the last few days have been particularly bad. If this is any indication of how the rest of the year will go, I'd like to press fast forward now. To deflect any real discussion about my feelings,

Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10967680758286067000noreply@blogger.com20tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7674465843475718892.post-51557160299388018732012-01-07T09:37:00.000-06:002012-01-07T09:37:15.827-06:00

Yesterday, we went back to the RE to talk about my latest round of blood work and how I'm doing post medically-induced menopause. My prolactin levels are still too low. There is no evidence that having extremely low prolactin is dangerous, but he still wants to bring it back up to a reasonable level. This meant another dosage change. I'm now taking half a pill every other week, and he wants me

Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10967680758286067000noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7674465843475718892.post-26504933194008829662012-01-04T07:53:00.000-06:002012-01-04T07:53:10.912-06:00

As mentioned in my previous post, I attempted to have a mammogram done (again) and was denied (again). I scheduled the second mammogram at a different facility, a hospital instead of an imaging center. This is because I've been to this hospital several times, and I've never once had a bad experience there. When I called to make the appointment for the mammogram, I even stated that I was coming

Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10967680758286067000noreply@blogger.com20tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7674465843475718892.post-13904195694463032362011-12-31T07:58:00.001-06:002011-12-31T08:13:00.648-06:00

Because I'm a bad blogger. I have so much to update all of you on: Christmas, being denied another mammogram (yes, really), getting interviewed by the local news for being denied another mammogram, and everything in between. But considering this is the last day of 2011, I feel a little obligated to write about the year that's about to end. 2011 wasn't terrible, but it wasn't great either. I

Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10967680758286067000noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7674465843475718892.post-83008224649477793902011-12-21T08:40:00.000-06:002011-12-21T12:05:51.492-06:00

Mel had a great post recently about judgement in the IF community. It's a post that makes you think about all aspects of your life - not just infertility. I felt bad after reading it. Not bad about the post, of course, but bad about myself. Why? Because it made me think about all of the times in my life when I've been judgmental . . . and there are plenty of them. We all judge. I get that. When

Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10967680758286067000noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7674465843475718892.post-18672861980428686872011-12-19T12:52:00.000-06:002011-12-21T09:02:55.089-06:00

In recent months, I've had a lot of questions about the adoption process. It didn't dawn on me until this past week that people don't know about the process and how it works. Like infertility treatments, I forget about this sometimes because it's part of my life now. I've done the research and the reading. Others haven't, and I feel like now that I've realized this, it's a good opportunity to sit

Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10967680758286067000noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7674465843475718892.post-1003211566582970652011-12-10T11:29:00.000-06:002011-12-10T11:31:01.907-06:00

I get them every year, but this year my holiday blues seem particularly bad. It's December 10, and we haven't put up a single Christmas decoration aside from the wreath Joey hung on the door one day while I was at work. To be honest, I'm not sure I even want to put up a tree. I'm certainly not weeping my way through store aisles. I'm just . . . blah. This is going to make me sound like a broken

Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10967680758286067000noreply@blogger.com24tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7674465843475718892.post-10250562994225738302011-12-08T11:20:00.000-06:002011-12-08T11:21:09.782-06:00

Earlier this week, I filled out new patient paperwork for my gynecology appointment on Friday. (It's an annual visit, since my RE doesn't do pap smears.) Looking over my medical history brought up a ton of emotions for me. This will be my fifth gynecologist in two years, not to mention the three different REs and the breast surgeon. I already have a one-inch binder full of medical records, and

Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10967680758286067000noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7674465843475718892.post-24014236838839854942011-12-01T17:39:00.000-06:002011-12-02T11:07:13.687-06:00

Well, I didn’t have a mammogram today. I went to the imaging center this morning, put on a gown, and instead was escorted into a room with an ultrasound tech. This didn’t surprise me too much, because when my doctor discovered my last lump, I had an ultrasound prior to having my mammogram. Only this time, instead of having a mammogram after the ultrasound, I was sent home. A doctor reviewed my

Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10967680758286067000noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7674465843475718892.post-77935854482219289822011-11-30T08:24:00.000-06:002011-11-30T08:24:33.454-06:00

Those who are longtime followers or who've had the patience to read back through some of my previous posts know that I had a lump removed from my right breast early last year. It was benign, but since then I've been incredibly vigilant with my self exams. My doctors have all urged me to stay on top of them, and I've done a good job of following their orders. About a week after the home study, I

Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10967680758286067000noreply@blogger.com26tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7674465843475718892.post-5829498992727104502011-11-27T18:08:00.000-06:002011-11-27T18:08:17.281-06:00

Thank you all for the words of encouragement on the last post. I know this person didn't intend to be hurtful with her message, but it came across that way. And because I received it on Thanksgiving, I was extra sensitive and emotional. It's hard sometimes. You all know that. Overall, though, we had a wonderful holiday weekend - spending lots of time with our families. And eating. So much eating!

Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10967680758286067000noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7674465843475718892.post-9672894512795741882011-11-26T14:21:00.001-06:002011-11-26T14:21:45.352-06:00

We've been at this for 3.5 years. We've never hidden our infertility. We've been an open book about every treatment, every decision, and every aspect of every path on this journey. If anything, this blog should be testament of this. So I thought that maybe, just maybe, people "got" it by now. No. There are still people who don't get it. There are people who don't get that saying certain things

Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10967680758286067000noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7674465843475718892.post-86330355504922510952011-11-22T19:50:00.000-06:002011-11-23T05:50:47.187-06:00

Thanksgiving truly is my favorite day of the year, and not just for the good food. It is a reminder for me to sit back and reflect on what I have to be thankful for. To be honest, I don't do that enough on a regular basis - be thankful. I'm getting better at it, but it's a process when you suffer from infertility. For many Americans, Thursday kicks off the best time of year. Everyone is happy.

Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10967680758286067000noreply@blogger.com19tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7674465843475718892.post-83422843783682575492011-11-19T14:10:00.001-06:002011-11-20T19:02:44.123-06:00

We were lucky to find such an amazing person, Amy, to do our home study for us. (Unlike many situations, where couples go directly to an agency and have their home study done through that organization, we decided to go with an independent home study agent. This gave us the option to choose based on her recommendations of who might best meet our needs.) Amy occasionally reads my blog, and she

Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10967680758286067000noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7674465843475718892.post-36516788605741621982011-11-18T16:20:00.001-06:002011-11-18T16:35:56.731-06:00

We went from two phone calls in the first week to zero in the second week. I joked with Joey the other day that we probably won't get another call for about six months or so. I'm okay, though. I certainly didn't expect two calls in week 1 of the wait, nor did I expect this week to be a repeat of that. I had a chance to meet some of the people from our agency last weekend when I spoke at a local

Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10967680758286067000noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7674465843475718892.post-76440147335847803902011-11-15T20:29:00.001-06:002011-11-16T19:26:59.812-06:00

We are lucky to have some pretty amazing family members and friends who've already given us items to prepare for the baby. We already have all the major necessities: a crib, a changing table, clothes, bottles, bedding, a car seat, and a stroller. But when it comes to things beyond this, I'm clueless. So I decided to use the resources at my disposal to compile a list of "must haves" for any baby

Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10967680758286067000noreply@blogger.com18tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7674465843475718892.post-31273611861294585322011-11-12T17:30:00.000-06:002011-11-12T16:44:50.464-06:00

I've been wanting to reflect on the last three or four weeks and what I experienced while trying to gather information in order to make a decision about who we would use to facilitate our adoption. But, as you can tell from my previous post, it's been a little crazy for us in this house. I finally have a moment to sit down and finish writing about some of my experiences. I'm only sharing this

Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10967680758286067000noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7674465843475718892.post-53096088612476408292011-11-11T09:41:00.001-06:002011-11-11T13:03:07.867-06:00

I had a few planned posts for this week, but all of that went out the window. I can’t go into too many details, but here’s what’s been going on: Monday: The adoption agency received our application. Tuesday: Our profile went active. Wednesday: We received a call from the agency that we were a potential match for a special situation. They needed our permission to show the birth mother our

Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10967680758286067000noreply@blogger.com22tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7674465843475718892.post-52820687348963181052011-11-02T07:54:00.000-05:002011-11-02T07:54:08.781-05:00

Next week is my 3rd blogoversary. I've thought a lot recently about my blog and how it's changed over these last three years. And how I have changed over the last three years. In the beginning, I didn't speak to many people about what I was going through. I didn't want to talk about it. I was/am not the most outgoing person in the world, so shouting to everyone that my ovaries were jacked up

Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10967680758286067000noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7674465843475718892.post-57317696075649965042011-10-30T08:54:00.000-05:002011-11-15T14:44:06.277-06:00

Good news! Today I will finally get my car back FIXED. It's been about three weeks or so since my car saga began, and I'm happy to put it behind us. We are lucky to have a mechanic who stuck with it, found the problem, and charged us next to nothing to fix it. (Well, next to nothing compared to what the dealership would have charged us.) Everyone keep your fingers crossed that my poor baby can

Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10967680758286067000noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7674465843475718892.post-4070061933171313972011-10-28T08:30:00.000-05:002011-10-28T09:53:48.312-05:00

I haven't written too much lately because I've been drowning in school work. Remind me to never take three classes at once again - all of which have major final projects. But I need to take a break from writing a human resources evaluation of a library (fun!) to bitch for a moment. It is an incredible honor to win a big blog award. As a result, I've met some great women, and I've had a chance to

Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10967680758286067000noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7674465843475718892.post-73681395514496043712011-10-26T07:51:00.002-05:002011-10-26T07:51:59.342-05:00

We are officially official, meaning we are home study approved! It's hard to believe that, less than a year ago, we were announcing our intention to adopt. Now we are legally able to. We still have a long way to go: picking an agency, creating our profile, waiting, and more waiting. Not to mention the fact that I've started a new blog/website and Facebook page focused solely on our adoption (

Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10967680758286067000noreply@blogger.com24tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7674465843475718892.post-80909078983596692622011-10-20T08:51:00.001-05:002011-10-20T08:51:43.795-05:00

Mark your calendars for A Family of My Own Fertility & Adoption Conference. It's taking place on Saturday, November 12, 2011, from 9 am to 1 pm at The Westin Lake Mary located on 2974 International Parkway in Lake Mary, FL 32746. Admission is FREE! Register online today at www.AFamilyofMyOwn.com. I will be there, manning the RESOLVE of Central Florida table and speaking to the attendees about

Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10967680758286067000noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7674465843475718892.post-80266665061541785182011-10-18T13:04:00.003-05:002011-10-18T13:04:50.963-05:00

Want to see something scary and exciting? It's my face on Redbook Magazine's website! I'm happy to take part in "The Truth About Trying" - video campaign from Redbook Magazine and RESOLVE that seeks to end the silence about infertility. Click on the link above to learn more about the campaign, watch the videos, and upload a message of your own. My video is on the second row, the last video on

Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10967680758286067000noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7674465843475718892.post-67296665912499602402011-10-17T10:52:00.002-05:002011-10-17T10:52:57.267-05:00

"I don't know what's wrong with your car." My car died last week. These types of things are inevitable when you have a car that's 10 years old and is sporting almost 140,000 miles. In fact, it died about a month ago, and I had to buy a replacement battery. Easy fix. So wait, why was it crapping out on me again in less than a month? It died at work. Luckily, I carry jumper cables around with me

Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10967680758286067000noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7674465843475718892.post-44480690505585641702011-10-15T17:46:00.004-05:002011-10-15T17:47:51.273-05:00

We will be home study approved in a couple of weeks. !!! The home visit was this morning, and it went well. It was a lot easier than I expected it to be. The only major concern she seemed to have was our budget. 25k is low in the grand scheme of things, since most adoptions average between 25k and 30k. It doesn't mean it can't happen. It just means we might be waiting a little longer, and that

Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10967680758286067000noreply@blogger.com25tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7674465843475718892.post-62121137345524937132011-10-12T09:14:00.001-05:002011-10-12T09:14:21.421-05:00

There are days when I would give anything to be a kid again. To have no cares in the world. To never have to worry about responsibilities. To have nap time (!). To be fearless. To feel and see and believe in positive things. When you're a kid, all you want in the world is to be an adult. You want to sit at the adult table during family gatherings, not at the kid table. You want to be included

Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10967680758286067000noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7674465843475718892.post-56776068929146591412011-10-08T09:48:00.002-05:002011-10-08T09:48:24.726-05:00

I started grad school last August with the intention of taking my time and finishing when I could. Then November rolled around, and we decided to adopt. That's when I also made the decision to take as many courses as I could handle each semester in order to graduate as early as possible. This was so that I would be done or mostly done with school by the time we were matched AND so that I could

Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10967680758286067000noreply@blogger.com31tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7674465843475718892.post-55811783688079013002011-10-05T20:33:00.001-05:002011-10-05T20:36:45.614-05:00

I was going to write a post tonight about October and breast cancer awareness month. Seems ironic now considering that, less than two hours ago, I found out Steve Jobs passed away. He died at the age of 56 after battling pancreatic cancer. We may never know how long he suffered from the disease. He had a Whipple procedure for a pancreatic tumor in 2004. Questions about his health swirled until

Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10967680758286067000noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7674465843475718892.post-61332706082795180472011-10-02T19:15:00.001-05:002011-10-02T19:21:11.436-05:00

First thing's first. Surprise! - Our paperwork is in and our home visit is scheduled for the morning of October 15. I'd be lying if I told you I wasn't nervous. Not so much about the house. Those of you who know me well know that the house is always in order. I don't live or work well in chaos, so it's not the order of the house that makes me nervous. It's the going over every aspect of your life

Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10967680758286067000noreply@blogger.com21tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7674465843475718892.post-89764779501742488392011-09-29T09:04:00.002-05:002011-09-29T09:04:12.852-05:00

I want to say I'm sorry. The past month or so has been a little bit of a roller coaster for me, and I haven't done a great job with blog reading and commenting. I don't want to get into details, but I've spend a lot of time focused on being there for myself with some things (if that makes any sense). As a result, I haven't been as supportive as I normally am to everyone else, and that

Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10967680758286067000noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7674465843475718892.post-56369819553394932042011-09-26T19:26:00.000-05:002011-09-26T19:26:28.894-05:00

RESOLVE launched a new initiative today, and they've asked me to pass along the message: They have a created a petition for the infertility community to add their names to that will be sent to Sec. Sebelius at the Department of Health and Human Services, along with a letter urging the Secretary to consider infertility treatment an essential health benefit as the discussion on the new healthcare

Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10967680758286067000noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7674465843475718892.post-79137306379295525952011-09-24T10:03:00.001-05:002011-09-24T10:09:45.119-05:00

I haven't been able to get my slideshow to upload, so I'm being lazy and directing you to my Facebook album to see the photos of my trip. Enjoy!

Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10967680758286067000noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7674465843475718892.post-40117427713286123552011-09-20T10:12:00.000-05:002011-09-20T10:12:50.669-05:00

I'm back home, and I have so much to write about. I would have written sooner, but I brought the plague back from NYC with me and spent most of my time back in Orlando in bed or on the couch. No fun. But now that I'm finally recovered, it's time to start filling everyone in on the events of the last week and a half. Let's just start with the part that I know everyone is anxious to read about: the

Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10967680758286067000noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7674465843475718892.post-19270757735438105682011-09-13T20:00:00.000-05:002011-09-13T22:03:08.651-05:00

I am currently at the Night of Hope. And while I know some of you will physically be there, I also know that this entire community will be there in spirit. I went back and forth about whether I would share my speech with everyone, and I ultimately decided to post it. Because if it weren't for all of you, I wouldn't even be in New York at this moment. So, here it is. And I hope that, while

Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10967680758286067000noreply@blogger.com33tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7674465843475718892.post-44458596231710014312011-09-11T09:00:00.000-05:002011-09-12T06:08:14.287-05:00

This morning, while you read this blog, I am standing near Ground Zero. The first time I stood in this part of Manhattan, it was not Ground Zero. It was the twin towers. It was World Trade Center 1 and World Trade Center 2. The summer before 9/11, I stood at the base of both and looked up, searching for the top. I couldn't see it from the sidewalk. When we went up to the observation deck, I

Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10967680758286067000noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7674465843475718892.post-10038196395826100862011-09-07T09:42:00.002-05:002011-09-20T07:41:06.946-05:00

I still haven't cried. While leads me to believe that I'm here: I wish I could say that it's due to some medication. But I'm not taking anything that would make me "numb." It's been weeks, and it doesn't feel like the floodgates will be open anytime soon. Therefore, I'm accepting the fact that I may never cry again. That's right. No more tears for Katie. (Let's see if that tricks my tear

Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10967680758286067000noreply@blogger.com18tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7674465843475718892.post-89998418295081712182011-09-04T14:10:00.001-05:002011-09-04T14:12:41.900-05:00

Late last week, there was a short-lived Facebook "game" that stirred the pot in this community. If you haven't read about it by now, people were posting status updates that said something to the effect of, "I'm ___ weeks along, and I'm craving ___." Now I have absolutely no idea how this got started or exactly what the rules were, but none of that matters. The game upset me. The strange thing is

Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10967680758286067000noreply@blogger.com25tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7674465843475718892.post-62752345369682991162011-09-01T11:46:00.000-05:002011-09-01T11:47:32.978-05:00

I can't cry. No really, I can't. I cannot cry. It's not that I'm trying to cry on a regular basis. But I am used to crying on a regular basis - as in at least once per week. I've always been an emotional person, and crying tends to help me with my stress. I'm generally less agitated when I cry regularly. Lately, though, my tears seem to be missing. I've had some extremely stressful days, and I

Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10967680758286067000noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7674465843475718892.post-31121811080019444112011-08-29T09:09:00.000-05:002011-08-29T09:09:11.206-05:00

Growing up, I was the freak with red hair. And glasses. I was the "dork" who many people picked on. Sure, I have a small group of close friends. But, in general, I was often picked out and pointed out for my different hair color. Because of this, I spend years hating my hair. When I say hate, I mean hate. I wanted nothing more than to dye my hair blonde or brown and call it a day. My mom would

Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10967680758286067000noreply@blogger.com19tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7674465843475718892.post-43788872778356675052011-08-24T09:36:00.003-05:002011-08-29T09:09:33.365-05:00

On Monday night, I came home to a house that was 84 degrees. Now I keep the air high compared to most people to save energy. I usually set the thermostat between 78-79, keep the blinds shut, and keep the ceiling fans running. If you don't in Florida, your energy bill will be astronomical. But I knew even 84 was high for us. Especially when the temp was still set for 79. Turns out we had a leak

Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10967680758286067000noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7674465843475718892.post-32237710198281735722011-08-17T10:26:00.001-05:002011-08-17T15:39:38.192-05:00

I've tried to formulate my thoughts on winning this year's Hope Award for Best Blog for weeks, but they haven't come together for me as well as I wanted them to. Bear with me while I try to work my way through this. Winning this award feels surreal to me. If you told me when I started this blog that I would be where I am today, I would have told you that you're a big. fat. liar. This is not how

Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10967680758286067000noreply@blogger.com19tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7674465843475718892.post-15244423611024446412011-08-15T13:36:00.000-05:002011-08-15T13:36:43.635-05:00

The Theresa Erickson scandal is everywhere, and - quite frankly - I'm still a little speechless about it. (Case in point: it took me three days to write this post. That rarely happens with something I'm so passionate about.) It's hard for me to wrap my brain around the fact that someone in this community, a community that is so close and secure, could violate us at such an unbelievable level.

Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10967680758286067000noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7674465843475718892.post-57915237725805578792011-08-10T09:47:00.000-05:002011-08-10T09:47:52.300-05:00

My attention span is limited these days. I can barely focus on something for more than five minutes. When that happens, it becomes extremely difficult for me to write a blog post with substance or do anything that remotely involves me thinking for an extended period of time. So I don't know how much blogging you'll get from me this week (good blogging, at least). But I do have a few updates:

Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10967680758286067000noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7674465843475718892.post-21798487039838059942011-08-03T10:55:00.000-05:002011-08-03T10:55:10.808-05:00

WHY are people so obsessed with getting me pregnant? Since we discovered the "issues" with my pituitary gland, I've lost count of how many times I've heard, "So . . . does this mean you can get pregnant?" Or, the number of times I've heard stories about women getting their prolactin levels regulated and then getting knocked up. Don't worry. I'm not mad if you're one of the dozens of people

Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10967680758286067000noreply@blogger.com19tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7674465843475718892.post-42288362248112604692011-08-01T14:11:00.001-05:002011-08-01T14:24:55.114-05:00

My amazing, talented friend, Alimah, took some beautiful head shots of me last weekend to submit to RESOLVE as part of the press release for the Night of Hope. The problem? I love two of them, and I can't decide which one to choose. So, I need your help! Below are the photos. Tell me which one you like best: Photo #1: Photo #2: I'm tallying all the votes between my blog, Facebook, and Twitter,

Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10967680758286067000noreply@blogger.com45tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7674465843475718892.post-47219400303925109902011-07-29T12:37:00.001-05:002011-07-29T12:38:45.101-05:00

The month of July was a whirlwind. I honestly thought I would have more time to blog, but it didn't work out that way. Schoolwork kept piling up. Work obligations. My boss's death. The Hope award. It all kind of melded together to make one messy month. I'm happy it's ending. There were good moments but ultimately, July felt like torture. August will be better. August will be the three-week

Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10967680758286067000noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7674465843475718892.post-27096001256385789752011-07-25T13:42:00.000-05:002011-07-25T13:42:57.436-05:00

Since I've been blogging about this journey, I've encountered a number of women who are battling with depression and anxiety alongside their infertility. I was barely 18 when I was diagnosed with clinical depression and anxiety, and I started counseling and medication shortly after. I continued with both forms of treatment through college, then stopped, then started again not too long after the

Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10967680758286067000noreply@blogger.com21tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7674465843475718892.post-21633608805576445792011-07-23T12:36:00.000-05:002011-07-23T12:36:02.627-05:00

Good news first: I don't have a tumor on my pituitary gland. (YAY!) He did another ultrasound. No growths on either ovary. I've lost count of how many clear scans I've now had in a row. Two? Three? Either one is a good number! My prolactin levels are still elevated, though, so I'm going on Dostinex to lower them. I'm happy he chose this medication because 1) I only need to take it twice a week

Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10967680758286067000noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7674465843475718892.post-27844304316157877812011-07-21T07:54:00.000-05:002011-07-21T07:54:51.801-05:00

I've been holding in a secret. Secrets are hard for me to keep. And I don't mean the "we're close friends and let's share this in confidence" kind. I mean the "I have great news and I want to tell the world" kind. I'm the winner of the 2011 RESOLVE Hope Award for best blog. I don't know how to thank all of you enough. For the votes. For your constant support, love, and friendship. It means so

Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10967680758286067000noreply@blogger.com34tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7674465843475718892.post-36431893408606885722011-07-19T15:27:00.001-05:002011-07-21T07:36:34.982-05:00

Lately, I've been trying to think back and reflect on why I wanted to be a mom in the first place. Is it because I thought I would be a good parent? Is it because Joey and I had love to give and share? Why did each of us set out to become mothers? Somewhere along the way, I learned that, for certain women, being a mom was more than just love and good parenting. It was bragging rights. It was

Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10967680758286067000noreply@blogger.com39tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7674465843475718892.post-23076909005785004282011-07-15T10:58:00.001-05:002011-07-21T08:57:59.369-05:00

In the days since my boss's death, I've seen grief in every form. I've seen the people who are business as usual - the ones who grieved on Monday and acted like nothing ever happened on Tuesday. I've seen the people who are do-ers. They go, go, go, and by working extra hard, extra long hours, they push death to the back of their minds. I've seen the talkers. The ones who want to analyze and

Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10967680758286067000noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7674465843475718892.post-36780587004605997052011-07-12T15:13:00.000-05:002011-07-12T15:13:50.044-05:00

I can't believe I'm writing this. Writing it makes it real. And I don't want it to be real. My boss is gone. He passed away over the weekend after a short and difficult battle with cancer. I knew he was sick. But I didn't know that it was this bad. Or rather, I didn't want to think it was this bad. I knew, and I didn't want to believe it. When I got this job nine months ago, I accepted it

Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10967680758286067000noreply@blogger.com40tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7674465843475718892.post-18503614688498987722011-07-08T11:27:00.002-05:002011-07-08T11:28:44.298-05:00

I feel like I have one more Casey Anthony post in me, but I promise: after that post, you will not hear anymore about that woman on this blog. Unless she gets pregnant or she's arrested again. (Let's face it. Both of those scenarios are likely.) ---------- My MRI results are finally with my doctor. I'm not even going to go into the fiasco it was to get the hospital to transfer my records to my

Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10967680758286067000noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7674465843475718892.post-5168170514936992142011-07-05T19:44:00.000-05:002011-07-05T19:44:10.716-05:00

Not guilty. Not guilty. Not guilty. I shook listening to the jury acquit Casey Anthony of all charges this afternoon. HOW? Okay, I know how. Reasonable doubt. The 12 men and women on a jury of her peers did not feel that the evidence was strong enough to convict her of anything tying her to the murder of her daughter - whether accidental or intentional. That's it, and we have to accept that.

Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10967680758286067000noreply@blogger.com24tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7674465843475718892.post-78179785401554283742011-07-05T10:23:00.001-05:002011-07-05T10:24:05.106-05:00

I'm still waiting for my MRI results. I would like to say that I'm waiting patiently, but even after 3 years of infertility, I'm still the least patient person in the world. You would think I would be used to this by now. But I'm not. Speaking of waiting . . . Last week marked one year since we brought Danica home. While a dog is certainly no replacement for a baby, she certainly filled a void

Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10967680758286067000noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7674465843475718892.post-82913034253852845572011-06-27T13:59:00.000-05:002011-06-27T13:59:12.045-05:00

Thank you all again for the sweet congratulations on the RESOLVE award nomination. Voting does not close until July 11, so please make sure you take time between now and then to read the entries and cast your ballot. There are some great books about infertility up for a Hope Award, as well. ---------- We still don't have our crib. We ordered it several weeks ago online, and two weeks later, we

Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10967680758286067000noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7674465843475718892.post-73503975228611683262011-06-23T13:20:00.000-05:002011-06-23T19:08:27.889-05:00

I'm one of them. I was messing around on my phone during dinner last night when an email popped up: Subject line: Hope Award for Best Blog It took all my energy not to spit the pasta out of my mouth as I read that I've been nominated for best blog. Again. Last year, I was shocked to be nominated. This year, I'm floored. I don't blog nearly as much as I used to. I am whiny. I have no

Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10967680758286067000noreply@blogger.com23tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7674465843475718892.post-78676706730747810972011-06-21T16:22:00.000-05:002011-06-21T16:22:48.772-05:00

This morning, I had another appointment with RE#3. I was less interested in the ultrasound than I was with getting the results of my second blood draw to test my prolactin levels. But everything has to be suspenseful, so we did the ultrasound first. All is quiet on the ovary front - exactly where it should be. That's two straight, normal scans. This is wonderful news, and a rare occurrence for

Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10967680758286067000noreply@blogger.com39tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7674465843475718892.post-38516317145777249982011-06-20T17:56:00.000-05:002011-06-20T17:56:59.261-05:00

I've had some insensitive comments made to me over the last three years during our struggle to become parents. Yes - there are times when these comments are so insensitive that I get angry. But, in most cases, I simply let them roll off my shoulder or (if I'm feeling extra hormonal) I bite back with a snarky response. I'm prepared for people to say hurtful things to me. What I'm not always

Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10967680758286067000noreply@blogger.com22tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7674465843475718892.post-78895951093285744772011-06-17T11:14:00.000-05:002011-06-17T11:14:05.126-05:00

I did have other blog posts planned for this week. I promise. Unfortunately, I didn't finish any of them since my brain wasn't quite functioning properly. Because I haven't slept. I mean, I've slept. Just not well. Or much. This has been happening for a few weeks now, and it's gotten progressively worse. Last night was my most successful night of sleep, and it consisted of no more than 5-6

Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10967680758286067000noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7674465843475718892.post-61968649036899075212011-06-14T10:28:00.000-05:002011-06-14T10:28:30.224-05:00

I'm obsessed with the Casey Anthony trial. You already know that if you follow me on Twitter. Some people have actually unfollowed me for the commentary on the trial. (Which is amusing. I don't unfollow you because you talk about breast feeding 24/7. So please, spare me.) I know, it's weird. I tease people for watching shows like 16 and Pregnant and Teen Mom wondering, "Why on earth do you

Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10967680758286067000noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7674465843475718892.post-3040890149586075232011-06-10T10:14:00.001-05:002011-06-10T15:57:34.331-05:00

At my last check up, RE #3 asked if I would be okay going into a lab here at home for some standard blood work. He just wanted to "rule things out" he said, specifically any type of blood disorders. He also wanted to do another check on my TSH and Prolactin levels, as it's been a while since they've been tested. I went into the lab on Saturday morning thinking that I would get the results at my

Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10967680758286067000noreply@blogger.com25tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7674465843475718892.post-7417735131848357382011-06-09T10:47:00.000-05:002011-06-09T10:47:53.629-05:00

I have been lapped thrice. Yes. A person is now pregnant with their third child in three years. This person. I'm not angry about not being pregnant. Or sad. But moments like these only make me lose more faith in the way that God or the Universe or who/what-ever operates. Two women I know in this community lost babies this week. Lisa delivered her twins (a boy and a girl) at 21 weeks, and Audrey

Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10967680758286067000noreply@blogger.com27tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7674465843475718892.post-42243460911559286482011-06-08T13:25:00.000-05:002011-06-08T13:25:07.665-05:00

It's only Wednesday, but this week has not done a great job in bettering my mood. One of my mom's best friends passed away suddenly on Monday. Babies have been taken away from us too soon in the infertility community. And I have a lot of personal stresses weighing heavily on my mind. It seems as if one bad thing keeps leading to another - like an emotional game of dominos. Sorry my sunshine is

Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10967680758286067000noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7674465843475718892.post-15280652701085515212011-06-04T13:54:00.000-05:002011-06-04T13:54:26.068-05:00

Thank you for allowing me to rant the other day. I appreciate it. I'd like to say I'm feeling a bit better, but I'm still in somewhat of a funk. I'm not up for writing a "real" post right now. (Blogging lately has been hard to come by anyway, since our Internet wasn't working at home until last night.) So, I leave you with a slideshow from our vacation in the Keys last week. Hope everyone has

Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10967680758286067000noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7674465843475718892.post-12477159355076250972011-06-01T11:12:00.000-05:002011-06-01T11:12:41.898-05:00

In some ways, blogging makes me bitter - so much so, that I contemplate ending my blog all together. I'm still waiting for that stork who lost his way trying to find our house. Everyone I started this journey with is becoming a mother, and here I am. Wallowing in my Blogger dashboard. Wondering what's left to say (write). I want to write about this, and yet I sit here afraid to offend someone.

Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10967680758286067000noreply@blogger.com45tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7674465843475718892.post-70578056972206390442011-05-24T11:36:00.001-05:002011-05-24T11:37:20.020-05:00

Three years ago today, I married my best friend. The love of my life. The father of my future child. Joey: I love you very much. Thank you for putting up with all of this over the last three years. Today, I don't think about all of our failures. Today, I think about our future success - our baby, who is out there waiting for us. I can't wait to embark on this new adventure for you. There's

Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10967680758286067000noreply@blogger.com29tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7674465843475718892.post-76094879843369629282011-05-23T08:04:00.000-05:002011-05-23T08:04:07.027-05:00

We've been talking about it for months, but we never had time. How we needed to clear out the nursery to make way for what's to come: Baby furniture. It finally happened last weekend. We (and when I write we, I mean Joey) loaded up the Jeep last Sunday morning with all of the furniture we knew we would not longer have room for and dropped it off at Goodwill. We went to IKEA to price some

Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10967680758286067000noreply@blogger.com28tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7674465843475718892.post-75115968607352304642011-05-18T14:03:00.002-05:002011-05-18T14:10:42.223-05:00

Yesterday, when I came home from work, my husband asked me to pull up CNN.com and read an article he thought I would appreciate. The article was an interview with Marc Sedaka, based on his book, What He Can Expect When She's Not Expecting. If the book is anything like the article I read yesterday, it's something that every man should read. But this is also an area that we, as women (I'm assuming

Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10967680758286067000noreply@blogger.com19tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7674465843475718892.post-83816132939988714092011-05-10T13:07:00.000-05:002011-05-10T13:07:02.580-05:00

When I had my laparoscopy a little over a year ago, I had irrational fears about what the doctor might find once he cut me open. An alien growing inside of my uterus. A testicle instead of an ovary. A giant block of cheese wedged somewhere in my abdomen (because Joey teases me incessantly about eating too much cheese). I had more realistic hopes. Like the doctor finding a definitive reason why we

Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10967680758286067000noreply@blogger.com24tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7674465843475718892.post-18540828533589445272011-05-09T09:51:00.001-05:002011-05-09T10:25:33.338-05:00

In some kind of normal, sane world, I'd be able to write the following statement about Friday's doctor appointment: "My doctor's appointment went well! Doctor #3 knew exactly what was wrong, and we have a wonderful plan to fix it." I have no idea where that world exists, but I imagine it filled with rainbows, unicorns, and many adorable babies - of which I could have my pick. Instead, in

Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10967680758286067000noreply@blogger.com27tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7674465843475718892.post-54028407904910390642011-05-05T12:09:00.000-05:002011-05-05T12:09:37.079-05:00

I started to write a post the other day about my reaction to OBL's death, but I couldn't quite find the right words. I deleted and rewrote numerous times, and I finally trashed it after I watched this video last night. Because Anderson Cooper says it a million times better than I ever could. ---------- Over the past couple of weeks, I realize I've been both absent from commenting and vague in

Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10967680758286067000noreply@blogger.com23tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7674465843475718892.post-89254282203224272992011-05-04T12:56:00.001-05:002011-05-04T12:57:09.954-05:00

Below is my Advocacy Day letter. If you aren't attending or have not written your own letter, please feel free to add your thoughts for our lawmakers here. Dear lawmaker, I once began undressing at the doctor’s office before the nurse left the room, and before both of us realized one little detail: there was no drape on the table. While I laughed at the time, the truth is that it’s sad. It’s

Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10967680758286067000noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7674465843475718892.post-63850655536849524632011-05-03T12:06:00.001-05:002011-05-04T14:52:57.107-05:00

Thursday is Advocacy Day, and I am sad I can't be there. There's nothing that would make me happier than to march up the steps of Capitol Hill with thousands of other men and women and bitch about ovaries, uteruses, and testes for an entire day. All joking aside, Advocacy Day is a big deal, and I've always wanted to attend. It's a day that allows us to send a message to those on the outside that

Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10967680758286067000noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7674465843475718892.post-58903634429473486912011-04-27T19:42:00.001-05:002011-06-24T12:40:40.779-05:00

Satisfaction. When you want something that someone else has, odds are they want something that you have just as badly if not more than the thing you want in their life. Not that you want their LIFE. You just want whatever part of their life you think is perfect. Take all of us, for instance. We all want babies, correct? Children we can raise and love as our own. Your best friend has a baby. Why

Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10967680758286067000noreply@blogger.com27tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7674465843475718892.post-66563477540459315582011-04-24T10:56:00.002-05:002011-04-24T10:58:34.193-05:00

There seems to be a misconception among outsiders that, once you have set on a certain path to motherhood – such as adoption – or once you have a child, you are no longer infertile. You are no longer in pain. That you perhaps you should consider getting over it. Some people have negatively portrayed this idea onto me since we made the decision to adopt. As if there should have been this magic

Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10967680758286067000noreply@blogger.com44tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7674465843475718892.post-12214815161944345672011-04-18T19:05:00.000-05:002011-04-18T19:05:08.262-05:00

I had to go to the ER this morning. Actually, I didn't need to go. But Joey made an executive decision and booted my ass out the door and into the car. Luckily, this ER experience was nothing like the one I had in October. We went to a different hospital. I got a bed (in a private room!) right away. But not everything was different from October. It was another rupture. This time is was a

Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10967680758286067000noreply@blogger.com42tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7674465843475718892.post-36674531033336753122011-04-16T07:17:00.003-05:002011-06-24T12:42:16.983-05:00

Earlier this week, I started cramping. Odd for a girl who isn't supposed to get her period anymore, but I figured that it was just my body thinking it was time for AF (even though it's been about 3 months since my last real period). Then, the cramps became a sharp, single cramp - like a stabbing pain in the center of my uterus. It would last for no more than 30 seconds to a minute, and then I'd

Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10967680758286067000noreply@blogger.com22tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7674465843475718892.post-7904597113215644132011-04-07T20:46:00.002-05:002012-01-07T09:34:40.080-06:00

Mel's post today about PETA brought out feelings that I've been reflecting on throughout this controversy: I'm tired of fighting. I'm not tired of fighting the disease, per se, though the thought of no more hot flashes and no longer having to spread my legs on an exam table more than once a year does make me smile. No. I'm tired of fighting FOR the disease. I'm sick and tired of fighting

Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10967680758286067000noreply@blogger.com29tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7674465843475718892.post-38982698544123926642011-04-06T12:33:00.005-05:002011-04-07T07:02:13.019-05:00

PETA responded to my letter today with a (tragic) form letter: Dear Ms. __________, Thank you for contacting PETA about our contest offering a free vasectomy. We apologize if our contest has offended you as it was not our intent. We meant no offense, especially to those who are struggling to conceive. Please know that there are many people who wish to be sterilized—it’s those people that we’re

Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10967680758286067000noreply@blogger.com25tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7674465843475718892.post-36993388508375920662011-04-05T17:10:00.000-05:002011-04-05T17:10:24.960-05:00

Please go read this and write your letter to PETA now. I already wrote my own: Dear Ms. Newkirk, As someone who suffers from infertility, I was outraged and saddened to read about PETA's latest campaign, Win a Vasectomy from PETA! While I respect the fact that you are continuing efforts to ensure that individuals spay and neuter their pets, I'm outraged at how you launched this campaign at the

Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10967680758286067000noreply@blogger.com30tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7674465843475718892.post-54955089004331158702011-04-05T09:08:00.000-05:002011-04-05T09:08:09.659-05:00

Tomorrow is my birthday, and there is something about turning another year older without being a mom that makes me sad. I should be happy. We are on a great path to motherhood. I have a fabulous husband, wonderful family and friends, a good job, an awesome dog, a roof over my head, and food on the table. None of this, though, can make up for the piece of me that's still missing. Of all the

Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10967680758286067000noreply@blogger.com26tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7674465843475718892.post-26152734508144293312011-04-03T16:42:00.004-05:002011-04-04T08:34:16.241-05:00

Despite the distraction that last week's musical episode provided, I have to commend Grey's Anatomy. They finally got it right (after the whole hostile uterus fiasco). Meredith's infertility breakdown: Callie's song to her premature baby: It's about time.

Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10967680758286067000noreply@blogger.com28tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7674465843475718892.post-12797023016283592732011-04-01T08:33:00.002-05:002011-04-01T15:29:48.712-05:00

Today is April Fools Day. I've always hated this day. There's something about practical jokes makes me cringe. It could be because I'm generally a gullible person. I don't enjoy plastic spiders on my desk or fake snakes by the door. And I certainly don't enjoy the ever-popular joke of, "I'm pregnant." There's nothing funny about being pregnant. Or not being pregnant. That joke isn't funny to

Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10967680758286067000noreply@blogger.com32tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7674465843475718892.post-50152109421197519092011-03-25T09:56:00.000-05:002011-03-25T09:56:16.133-05:00

I’ve noticed a personal mentality shift recently. I can’t pinpoint exactly when it began, but I think I realized it was happening this week: I’m not upset anymore about the possibility of never being pregnant. In fact, I don’t want to be pregnant. Not that I would be mad if it happened, but I certainly don’t desire it anymore. Before this shift, I used to look at pregnant women and stare in awe

Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10967680758286067000noreply@blogger.com33tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7674465843475718892.post-78472575280736279772011-03-24T09:47:00.000-05:002011-03-24T09:47:35.015-05:00

You are hurtful. When I told you we were adopting, I thought you would be excited. I thought we would finally experience that same reaction couples get when they tell others they are pregnant and expecting their first child. I thought I would have your unconditional love and support of everyone. Instead, it all feels the same. I thought that people would stop saying stupid things or asking

Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10967680758286067000noreply@blogger.com41tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7674465843475718892.post-26716206785895600422011-03-21T09:59:00.002-05:002011-03-21T10:01:20.829-05:00

It's been a long time since I participated in ICLW. I think I felt guilty participating after a while, because I didn't exactly have anything going on. We were on a break from fertility treatments, and I wasn't sure where things were heading. Now that we have a sense of direction and our path is clear, I figured I would start getting involved again. Plus, maybe this will encourage me to blog more

Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10967680758286067000noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7674465843475718892.post-58406335551967675992011-03-17T08:19:00.000-05:002011-03-17T08:19:07.134-05:00

I had my post-op appointment yesterday. It was scheduled for 10:45, but we ended up waiting almost an hour and a half to see the doctor. By the time he walked in the room, I was annoyed. I was missing time from work, I was hungry, and sitting up on an exam table for that amount of time with nothing to support my back were all combining to turn me into the ultimate "Katie Cranky Pants" (as Joey

Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10967680758286067000noreply@blogger.com41tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7674465843475718892.post-70822406332721807972011-03-15T10:57:00.000-05:002011-03-15T10:57:25.075-05:00

I've been struggling with my emotions since the surgery. But you will all think I'm stupid when you hear the reason why. It has nothing to do with getting cut open again, having a longer recovery, or even the painful reminder that I'll never carry a child. It has everything to do with money. I knew that, since I have no available sick or vacation days yet at my job, I would lose money for

Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10967680758286067000noreply@blogger.com29tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7674465843475718892.post-19103342887939698662011-03-12T11:56:00.002-06:002011-03-12T12:25:18.518-06:00

Wednesday was good. Thursday, I hit a wall. Yesterday was better. The recovery from this lap has been significantly different from my last. With my last, I was more alert, but the gas and constipation pains were UNBEARABLE. I also had significant bleeding with the last surgery. With this lap, my main issues have been nausea, pain in my left ovary (probably from the stitches IN my ovary... just

Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10967680758286067000noreply@blogger.com20tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7674465843475718892.post-35988980923918030022011-03-09T10:07:00.000-06:002011-03-09T10:07:54.112-06:00

I'm still hopped up on Vicodin, so I apologize in advance if some of this makes no sense or if there are typos. He didn't take out the ovary. We had a long conversation before surgery: me, the doctor, and Joey. The doctor was great. He had a much better demeanor than the first time I met him on Wednesday - didn't seem as egocentric. I think looking at my ultrasound photos changed his tune a

Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10967680758286067000noreply@blogger.com34tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7674465843475718892.post-68613528665339441842011-03-07T14:06:00.000-06:002011-03-07T14:06:37.608-06:00

I'm having surgery tomorrow morning. It's another lap, and the doctor will remove the cyst. He'll also examine the ovary. I will make it clear prior to surgery that I prefer for the ovary to be removed, but I have no idea if that's in his mind or not. I haven't spoken to him. This is all happening so fast. Less than 20 hours and counting.

Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10967680758286067000noreply@blogger.com33tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7674465843475718892.post-29943488653780801792011-03-05T08:09:00.000-06:002011-03-05T08:09:20.554-06:00

I need surgery. It will be at some point this month - possibly as early as this week. I have a 5 cm cyst on my left ovary, which is enlarged (ovaries typically have a volume of 5-15 ml and my left ovary has a volume of 130 ml). Here's a nice snapshot of my left ovary, with Boris the Cyst: I have no idea yet what the surgery will entail. If it will be another lap or if they will take out the

Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10967680758286067000noreply@blogger.com34tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7674465843475718892.post-58780209927888060762011-03-03T15:57:00.000-06:002011-03-03T15:57:12.599-06:00

I know that I have a cyst, because I saw it on the ultrasound screen at the hospital yesterday. Beyond that, I know nothing. I went to the new doctor yesterday morning, and he gave me the same sad song: "There's nothing I can do." "I can write you a prescription for Depo-Provera." "I don't want to put you through another lap." "You are too young for me to feel okay with removing your ovary."

Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10967680758286067000noreply@blogger.com31