Comments on from IF to when: holiday blues

Feeling the Holiday blahs as well. Thanks for post...

2011-12-16T09:43:38.621-06:00

Feeling the Holiday blahs as well. Thanks for posting this, Katie. I hope that this is the last Christmas tree without the special ornament signaling that your baby has finally arrived.

I can't even begin to tell you how much I'...

2011-12-15T18:22:04.594-06:00

I can't even begin to tell you how much I'm relating to this post right now. We've been waiting to adopt for a while and every year the holidays are so difficult. THis year I thought it would finally be the year we could hang that "baby's 1st Christmas" ornament. We were in a match and everything was going great. Unfortunately, the baby was born stillborn and our hearts

Katie. Don’t wait. Hang the ornament right now, th...

2011-12-13T19:38:05.555-06:00

Katie. Don’t wait. Hang the ornament right now, this tree at this moment. Because in the very near future you will be looking into the most perfect eyes and those eyes are going to see how strong her mama is and how she hung it in exactly the right place to hang the first ornament.

The holidays are such a crappy time! I'm so so...

2011-12-12T22:19:06.702-06:00

The holidays are such a crappy time! I'm so sorry you are feeling down and I'm really hoping that next year is much, much different.

Yep, I've had those "blah" holidays....

2011-12-12T12:52:11.122-06:00

Yep, I've had those "blah" holidays. I hope next year is better. On a side note, I just graduated in August with a MS in Library Science after 5 years.

Katie, I hope you do get to put that ornament on t...

2011-12-12T12:39:58.550-06:00

Katie, I hope you do get to put that ornament on the tree. And very, very soon. I'm sorry for the holiday blues. They are awful. Because while everyone around you "gets into the spirit" it's impossible to do so yourself. No words of wisdom for you. Just the firm hope that next year will be very, very different.

I know exactly how you feel. My son's Father ...

2011-12-12T10:17:42.801-06:00

I know exactly how you feel. My son's Father died from brain cancer 2 1/2 years ago when my son was 9 and I just can't seem to get past it. I don't believe in closure, there is still a big gaping hole in my heart. I just need to find a way to move forward, for my son. I haven't had motivation to do anything except go to work and take my son to his school and social functions.

Oh the holidays are so hard! I know how it feels ...

2011-12-11T20:46:11.803-06:00

Oh the holidays are so hard! I know how it feels to want to enjoy it so bad, but then have the tiniest thing throw you off and back to the bottom of the barrel again. I think the post about things not to freak out about sounds genious!

Your profile is fine. You are fine. It's been ...

2011-12-11T19:21:18.833-06:00

Your profile is fine. You are fine. It's been a month. We got our girl at four months.

And don't worry about Christmas. You have others to come -- with your baby.

on a slightly different journey, but still one tha...

2011-12-11T16:17:29.435-06:00

on a slightly different journey, but still one that requires you to put yourself out there and wait/hope/pray someone else deems you worthy enough of being a parent. Argh the angst, the anger, the obsessing, the "Do I tweak or not tweak?" dance, back to anger, and then full around back to "dammit, when's gonna be OUR time?"

Our time is gonna come someday. It

I'd worry about the Gator thing, too. ;-) Ev...

2011-12-11T15:47:01.708-06:00

I'd worry about the Gator thing, too. ;-) Everything else is perfect for your new baby who's already on his/her way. But really....what's an infertile to do when we're so damn practiced at obsession? I'm convinced I've grown a new obsession gene in my DNA and am now happy that adopting means I won't be passing that on. Sending you some Christmas spirit. Fa la la

the holidays are so, so hard. Every year waiting w...

2011-12-11T14:23:15.078-06:00

the holidays are so, so hard. Every year waiting was more and more difficult. I cannot wait til you put up that "baby's first Christmas" ornament and celebrate your first Christmas with your little one.

HUGS.

I am a control freak too, which is why I've be...

2011-12-11T12:26:58.061-06:00

I am a control freak too, which is why I've been having a hard time lately. I hope the tree gives you some holiday sprit, and just know that we're all together in the blahs so vent anytime!

Dear Katie & Jen, please DO write that post ab...

2011-12-11T11:48:42.547-06:00

Dear Katie & Jen, please DO write that post about what you do when your teenager screams that at you... it's one of my biggest fears about donor egg, which feels a little silly (but it's there).

You're not the only one who isn't filled w...

2011-12-11T08:15:44.508-06:00

You're not the only one who isn't filled with holiday cheer and spirit. I'm trying not to think about my mom not being here this year, I'm also in the 1WW and I'm sure it has failed, and so on. Try to find a little something to make you happy and hold on to it. I'm trying to do the same. *hugs*

I felt the same way the first two Christmases afte...

2011-12-10T18:59:00.073-06:00

I felt the same way the first two Christmases after my divorce (my daughter spends Christmas with her father in another state). The first year, I tore down the tree on December 23rd and smashed the ornaments in a dumpster. The second year, I tore down the tree on December 25th but saved the ornaments. I'm hoping to make it to December 26th this year.

Thinking of ou this holiday

I was at a party for fellow pre-k moms last night ...

2011-12-10T15:43:19.724-06:00

I was at a party for fellow pre-k moms last night and someone was describing a family of five children this way: "She had three of her own, and two that were adopted."

I felt the same way about pummeling someone.

I understand Katie. 150%. I had to stop freaking a...

2011-12-10T14:14:07.553-06:00

I understand Katie. 150%. I had to stop freaking about our profile too. I plan to tweak it next after the holidays. Hoping this is the last holiday season to endure this way- fingers crossed for both of us.

I really find what you said about people assuming ...

2011-12-10T13:49:34.013-06:00

I really find what you said about people assuming you should "just adopt" so interesting. Seriously, if it was THAT EASY why would people struggle through infertility?

Your baby will be lucky to have you as a mother. Hang in there.

The holidays are incredibly hard. And, "just...

2011-12-10T13:04:14.926-06:00

The holidays are incredibly hard. And, "just adopt" makes me want to pummel someone. It amazes me how easy people make it sound.

Sending lots of love your way.

Sending big hugs. The holidays are so hard! Thinki...

2011-12-10T12:52:53.191-06:00

Sending big hugs. The holidays are so hard! Thinking of you and hoping that something comes through soon. Nothing about this journey is easy. Nothing.

I totally relate. Holidays are a jumble of emotio...

2011-12-10T12:19:31.401-06:00

I totally relate. Holidays are a jumble of emotional for me as well. If you had looked at us 5 years ago and asked where will your life be in 5 years without question I would have said we would have a child with a second on the way. That hasn't happened, but for us both, I pray it does. That this time next year we are eager to put up that tree and can't decide between multiple '

Long time reader, first time poster. This made my ...

2011-12-10T11:54:34.855-06:00

Long time reader, first time poster. This made my heart very sad, I am hoping so much that you and your husband get the Christmas miracle you have been hoping and praying for for so long. Your child will be delivered to you at exactly the right moment, don't lose trust in that.

Can we co-author a post about trying not to freak ...

2011-12-10T11:53:52.227-06:00

Can we co-author a post about trying not to freak out about that moment our teenagers will scream that at us? Cause, yeah. THAT.

My reaction to the holidays has varied dramatically over these three years. You just have to do what you need to do to get through it, and if ignoring it a bit, at least inside your own home, helps, eff the decorations.

Last year I NEEDED a tree (I