Saturday, November 2, 2013

(out of) control

Thank you so much for all of the support and encouragement about our move! So far, so good on the progress with the house sale. We had the inspection done this morning, and the appraisal should be done by Wednesday. Once this week rolls through, the real frenzy begins. We need to book a pod for moving, sell furniture, arrange for my car to be shipped, sell Joey's car, travel to Seattle to find a place to live, and much more. Luckily, Joey's last day at work was today, so he'll be able to take care of the logistics while I'm at work.

To say that I'm overwhelmed is a bit of an understatement. I'm Type A. I'm a worrier. I think this has been the hardest part about this situation: learning how to let go and maintaining the positive vibes.

Sound familiar? Ah, yes. Infertility! This is eerily reminiscent of the waiting we did through treatment and adoption. Slightly less stressful, of course, but the same lack of control we felt through both processes. And it's infertility that trained my brain to think everything will go wrong. I'm fairly certain this disease has broken that part of me forever -- the part that's innocent and naive to all of the things that can go wrong in any given situation.

That said, I'm trying my best to focus on one task at a time and push out the negativity as much as I possibly can. Because let's face it: worrying never helped me become a parent and I'm fairly certain it won't bring me any closer to Seattle.


Elizabeth said...

I just wanted to say congrats on the big move! I think you guys will love it there!!

It Is What It Is said...

Yes, infertility teaches us a lot of life lessons others get to go without.

That said, having things go right will, little by little, take the edge of the doom and gloom thinking and, while I think you are right that it will never go away, the further away you get, the more neutral to optimistic you will be.


Deidre said...

How exciting that you're moving. I totally understand the kind of disillusionment that comes with enough bad experiences (mine also include my uterus but not infertility + also visa issues ugh!). Good luck!

dspence said...

You are so right - worrying won't help. But it comes so naturally!! Hoping that you are filled with peace as you head into this new adventure.