Friday, September 6, 2013

i still weep

A close friend of mine texted me earlier this week to thank me for still supporting and understanding those who are still waiting for their miracles. She said that she appreciated the fact that I still felt the emotional pain.

I appreciate it, too.

I won't pretend like it's the same pain it was prior to becoming a mom. It doesn't even come close, but I'm glad it's still there. It's is a reminder that everything that everything we went through is real. It's a reminder that there is no cure for our disease. And it's a reminder of what a miracle it is for us to be parents.

It doesn't hold me back. It allows me to push forward. Even though I still weep, it gives me strength. It prepares me for everything that's still to come for us - and everything that's yet to come for others. It's the catalyst for everything I do, everything I fight for, and everything I hope for.

Infertility isn't something I wish on anyone, but I'm personally thankful for this journey. This pain. I will carry it in my heart forever.

And I'm okay with that.

3 comments:

Guillemette said...

I still weep as well, I realized part of it is me grieving but I also genuinely feel for friends still waiting for their miracle!

someday-soon said...

I also wouldn't wish IF on anyone...but am thankful to have walked the path I have. I think it's made me a different and better person. Hugs!

It Is What It Is said...

I definitely hold and keep space in my heart and mind for my sisters that are still deep in their struggle to become mothers.

After a long drought where no one I knew was cycling, I have friends both IRL and URL who are and I can't help but be there, cheering them on and shoring them up. It's a duty to see them through. They deserve that much.

And, infertility gives us perspective that many mothers don't have. It doesn't make us better mothers just more aware of how close to not becoming mothers we were.