(Some of you may remember this article from a few months back - an opinion piece written by a dad who was expecting twins and who wasn't happy about it. Some of you may also remember my response. Yesterday, the wife of Anonymous Dad wrote a reply of her own to all of those who criticized her husband for what he wrote. Here's my response.)
Congratulations, Anonymous Mom. You finally got what you wanted: someone to feel sorry for you and your husband.
I'm guessing it's not in the way you expected. You see, I don't feel sorry for you in that I feel badly about your situation. I don't sympathize with your blatant lack of respect for your children or family, or your lack of responsibility for your actions. I don't feel sorry for the fact that you are in therapy or that you struggle financially.
Instead, I simply feel sorry for you because you're pathetic.
When I first read your husband's post and responded to it, I thought maybe it was a maturity issue. Part of me said to myself, "Oh, I bet he'll come around and feel differently as her pregnancy progresses or after the babies are born." Now, after reading your version of the events, I realize that this probably won't be the case.
After all, your version of the story isn't much different than your husbands. Every line desperately screams "woe is me."
Believe me, I get it. Wanting kids and not being able to have them is hard. Wanting a sibling for your child is tough, too. Yet, we all make choices. Every day, people in this community choose their next steps in their journey. They mark "twins" as an acceptable choice on their adoption paperwork. They transfer three embryos instead of two to increase their odds. They go for that last IUI, even though they have more than one follicle ready to go. Because they have nothing else to lose.
Some of them do end up with multiples. I'm sure that's terrifying in a sense. It's a huge responsibility. However, there are many others who end up with nothing. An adoption falls through. Embryos don't implant. There is no pregnancy. There is no happy ending for them.
There IS for you. Yet, you don't see it. Instead, all you see is what a burden these children will be, on top of the burden of your existing child.
It's his fault, right? He was a difficult baby, and you don't know how you'll handle that all over again (potentially), times two. Colic is tough. You know what else is tough? Having a child born prematurely. Having a child with special needs or medical issues. Having a child who you WISH would just have colic.
I feel sorry for you because you can't see beyond your own skin to realize that this isn't the end of the world. I feel sorry for you because you are too selfish to understand that what you and your husband are feeling and have written will affect your children for the rest of their lives. And I am sad for your children - that they will grow up and someday learn that you feel "remorse" over their conception. That you blame them for your problems. (Soon, you and your husband won't be the only ones in therapy.)
You ask yourself toward the end why "the universe, God, karma, whatever, whomever think it was a good idea to bring forth twins" into your lives.
Honestly? I think the rest of us are wondering the same thing.