In case you missed it, yesterday's post about our adoption story was also posted on BlogHer. I am so excited that I was given the chance to share some of our story and what I learned while going through the process.
I have to admit that sometimes I feel weird discussing our adoption journey, especially as a member of the infertility community. Part of me feels like by talking about adoption, I'm distancing myself from the IF world. I've struggled with this lately - this feeling of isolation I get not only from not having gone through IVF, but also now being a parent. I feel like I don't fit. I'm not writing about parenting. I didn't go through IVF. I don't consider myself to be an adoption advocate.
In fact, I got this question from several friends, blog readers, and even family members after K's birth. Would I now focus my efforts on calling attention to adoption?
Four years of infertility taught me many lessons about life, about myself, and about others. It also taught me a great deal about this community. If I'm being honest, I've always felt ostracized for making the decision not to pursue IVF. However, just because we opted not to go down that road doesn't mean that I condemn anyone else for pursuing it. Both choices have their positive and negative aspects, and neither one is more difficult than the other. That said, it can sometimes be painful to read the negative comments about adoption that come from those who argue "for" IVF. Adoption was the best option for my family. I'm incredibly grateful for it.
I also know it's not the best option for everyone. I respect that. I respect that adoption has its "issues." But, if we are being honest, everything has issues. Every choice we make on this journey has problems - challenges we must overcome, both from the outside and from within. That's the beauty of fighting for this disease. We fight for - or we should fight for, rather - all of it: the good, the bad, and the ugly that come with it. Except that sometimes I don't feel like we do. I don't feel as though we fight equally for all of our options.
More on that some other time. I don't know if I have the right words to expand on it right now. What I do know is that I'm proud to say that I built my family through adoption. It's a personal choice that worked for us, and it was an honor to share that story with others outside of this community. I hope it helps them understand a little bit about what the adoption process is like. But I sometimes wish that the process was better understood within this community, too.