Wednesday, July 4, 2012

baby k's arrival story

The past three days have been a whirlwind. Please excuse any typos as I haven't had much sleep!

We arrived at the hospital on Monday morning and went straight to T's room to see how she was doing. The delivery happened so fast that they didn't have time for any pain meds, so as you can imagine, she wasn't feeling great. We spent most of the day with her, and we all were able to go down and see K (the baby; I haven't had time to come up with a good nickname yet!) twice. Because she was in the NICU, we were not able to hold her the first day. And because we didn't have rights, we were totally in the dark about everything. Talk about frustrating. To make matters worse, our attorney was in court all morning, and didn't even get our messages until noon. Not only that, but his paralegal is out of the office for the 4th of July holiday. It was insane trying to communicate back and forth about everything. Needless to say, it was an exhausting day for everyone. We didn't get back home until almost 11 pm, and I don't think I slept more than 3 hours that night because I was so anxious.

Yesterday, we all (T, Joey, and I) went over to the NICU as quickly as we could once we arrived back at the hospital. T was able to hold her, feed her, and change her, and I was able to hold her. Then we returned to T's room. This is when things started to get a little crazy. I can't go into details to protect T, but let's just say that I would love to write a blog post called "how the State of Florida almost ruined our adoption."

Once all the drama settled down, T's doctor signed her official release for 6 pm, which meant that she could sign her consent at that time. Brian, our attorney, and his wife arrived, as well as T's biological dad, to serve as a witness for T. T went to see Baby K one last time with her oldest daughter, and they were able to hold her and feed her. Then, around 7 pm, she signed the papers. The hour from 6 pm to 7 pm sitting in the hospital cafeteria had to be the longest hour of my life. But I started bawling as soon as Brian's wife came walking around the corner, smiling. It was the first time I'd cried since our match. I never truly doubted that T would change her mind, but it was a WONDERFUL feeling to know that Baby K was now officially our baby girl.

Saying good-bye to T was difficult. All three of us cried some more. How do you say good-bye to someone who gave you the greatest gift one could ever give? It seemed nearly impossible. She's had such a hard life, and I know that even if she doesn't maintain contact, I will think about her every day. I will wonder if she's okay. I will wonder about Baby K's half-siblings. It will be impossible not to wonder about the person who made you a parent.

After the good-byes came the amazing part: going to the NICU for the first time as Baby K's parents. We spent most of the night with her and then we went back for most of today. Beginning Friday, at least one of us will be there full time (they allow us to stay in the room with her 24/7).

How is she doing? It varies, but she's a fighter. She's a healthy weight for being early (6 lbs. 4 oz.), but she still has quite an uphill battle. We were told yesterday that the average stay for a baby in her condition is about 6 weeks. It's going to be difficult. It already is difficult. I've broken down several times since we've seen her, and I'm sure there are more breakdowns to come.

But let's not end this on a sad note, okay? Let's end this on an amazing note. It took 1,500 days. 1,500 days, 4 failed IUIs, 2 surgeries, 7 doctors, 2 adoption agencies, 1 attorney, nearly $50,000, and countless tears. But we did it. We made it through. We are parents. I never thought this day would get here, and I still can't believe it happened. I haven't had time to process it, and I'm not sure that I ever will. It seems so fitting that our first full day of parenthood is Independence Day. We are finally "free" from the burden of the last 1,500 days. And nothing has ever felt so good.

80 comments:

Arlyne said...

I'm bawling reading this! I know I've said it a million times already, but I'm so incredibly happy for all of you & you will all be in my thoughts & prayers!! Sending lots of (((hugs))) & positive thoughts for baby K to keep growing stronger! xoxoxo

KC said...

Congrats, so happy for you! It sounds like a very emotional time but well worth it. I know that having a baby in the NICU is difficult but there are also many good parts of it too. Our boys were in for 2 weeks and it was exhausting but they were monitored closely and put on a very good schedule. SO happy for you!

M said...

So so so so thrilled for you. Congratulations!

KRISTI said...

So unbelievably happy for you. Hoping Baby K will be home way before 6 weeks!

Shannon said...

That is the most amazing, heart warming picture I have seen in a long time! Congrats to you both on your new daughter!

Marianne said...

Oh so very happy for you!!!!!!!!!!!

Lyndsey said...

Congratulations! Such an exciting moment in your lives. Hopefully baby will be out of the NICU sooner than 6 weeks, but in the long run, 6 weeks is just a blip!

Leslie said...

I am so happy for you!! Congratulations!! I can not wait to hear more updates!

Amanda said...

What a beautiful family photo! Congratulations once again, Mommy!!! ((on a side note, I had to ride the NICU roller coaster last year for a month; my twins will be one tomorrow. I know you have an incredible support system, but if you ever need to chat with someone who knows the NICU ropes, please don't hesitate to email me. a-litko@hotmail.com))

Elizabeth said...

Congratulations! Well be thinking about and praying for sweet baby K as she continues her stay at the hospital and hope shell be home sooner than 6 weeks!

Ginger said...

Congratulations!!!! And wow, what a weight for 5 weeks early! (My daughter was 6 lbs a week past my due date)

Here's hoping for a short NICU stay!

Ashley said...

I am so so happy for you!! I started tearing up reading the last part. Yes what a wonderful day it is to become parents!!

Miss Megan said...

CONGRATS!!!!! So happy for you guys!!! It's official! Finally!!! YAY!!!!
And hang in there - having a baby in the NICU is hard - but just take one day, one hour, one minute at a time. You guys are so strong! You are already awesome parents for baby K! Keep up the good work!
Woot woot! Happy Independence Day!!!!

Amber said...

Tears of joy are streaming down my face for all of you right now. CONGRATULATIONS to ALL of you! I feel so blessed to have been able to "witness" your journey in expanding your family... and now, the end of one chapter has come... and a new brilliant and beautiful chapter is beginning!

Thank you for sharing with us :)). HUGS!

Anonymous said...

What an adorable family. She'll be home before you know it.

~~~alicia~~~

Jaclyn said...

I am so glad this worked out for your family! I wish you an easy recovery from the NICU, and hope all is well for your family and K's birth family.

Fiona aka DRMama said...

I just found your blog and I found it at such a perfect time (your last post). Wow, what a journey you have been through and what a point you have just come to. Congratulations on your beautiful little baby girl. I will be following and sending lots and lots of well wishes her way and hoping she can go home with you in the not to distant future.

robin said...

Congratulations!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Emily said...

Congratulations! What a beautiful family photo, I'm so happy for you all. Sending lots of positive thoughts that your baby girl will thrive in the NICU and that she'll be home with you soon! :)

Stefanie Blakely said...

I'm sobbing, Katie. NEVER have I been so happy for a friend to finally become a parent. So glad that your dreams have finally come true & I can't wait to read about the next 1500 days & beyond!

Lily Ladybug said...

You have your baby!!! Omg!! I'm so happy for you. Huge congratulations!!!
I teared up reading this post. Such an amazing story. Bless your family x

Slynn said...

Oh I can't express how happy I am for you. You look wonderful as a mother. I know I don't even know you, but I am bawling my eyes out in joy for you. I think that even if I am able to conceive, I hope to also be able to adopt some day. This journey has opened my eyes up to so much.

JustHeather said...

Many many congratulations!! I've got happy tears in my eyes and I'm so happy for you. May baby K continue to fight and come home with you both soon!

nobabyruth said...

Congratulations, congratulations, congratulations again!!!

I am just so so so happy for you and Joey. Your journey has been such a long and arduous one. And now for it to have ended in the most amazing (and fast!!) way is so fabulous.

The weeks ahead are bound to be difficult in an entirely different way than the many weeks and years behind but you will pull through. Be strong for your daughter!!

Single Mom BB said...

Congratulations! I just saw this so I have not read back and don't know why your little one is in NICU. Being in our 12th week in NICU, feel free to reach out if you have questions or need support. It's a roller coaster of a ride!

Kaitake said...

This is such an amazing post to read!!! I'm so very happy for you - the three of you make such a beautiful family. Best wishes that baby K makes swift improvements during her stay in the NICU. Congratulations. :D

LC said...

This brought tears to my eyes! You guys have fought for 1,500 days to be parents and now you have a lovely baby girl. Wishing you and Joey and your darling daughter nothing but the best! Thank you for sharing and being so honest and open.

KT said...

Congratulations! I'm so happy for you guys!

Brooke said...

I'm so incredibly happy for you - words just can't express. What a fabulous family picture!!!

Christy said...

I'm crying. So happy for you! I'm praying for baby K.

Liz Self said...

Been reading for a while now and so excited to say congratulations on your new daughter!

Jen said...

I am so happy for you!!!!!! I don't know what else to say except congrats over and over again!!!!

Her Royal Fabulousness said...

Sending you a big, heartfelt congratulations! What are the issues the baby is having that will keep her there for 6 weeks? Just needing more time to develop?

Rach said...

What a great post and how awesome it was on Independence Day. We had a great experience with adopting in Florida, thats too bad the state caused a bunch of drama. Hope baby K gets to come home soon! Congrats and so happy for you.

gailcanoe said...

Congratulations! Such an awesome July 4th present and you'll be able to celebrate every year with fireworks!

Ebe said...

Katie, I've been following your blog for close to three years and I am overjoyed at seeing you holding your baby. So so very thrilled for you. Such a long awaited and hoped for picture.
Please keep us posted on K's progress and I'll be praying.

love and hugs,
ebe

Carli said...

Congratulations on your "independance" from infertility!

The last few days sound as if they have been an absolute whirlwind and sound exhausting. I am so sorry that you had to go through the drama, but I am glad that everything ended well and that you and Joey are finally parents.

I am sorry that you have an estimated 6 week NICU stay, but I am glad to know that baby K is a fighter. I am also VERY glad to know that you have a place to stay with her while she is there. At our hospital (while it was amazing), the NICU didn't offer any privacy (other than folding curtains) and we weren't allowed to stay with him overnight. It was so hard to leave him in the hospital and head home, knowing he was there all alone. Having that ability will really be nice for you and Joey.

My thoughts are with you and I can't wait for more updates!

Stephanie said...

I am so happy for you and your family! I know that having your little one in the NICU is hard, but I'm sure the nurses and doctors will take wonderful care of Baby K. Soon you will be bringing your sweet, beautiful daughter home. I have y'all in my thoughts. I loved reading that your baby is here!

Erica said...

Congratulations on your baby girl! Beautiful family pic! Hoping and praying that the NICU stay is brief and that Baby Girl comes home quickly and more importantly healthy!

Glass Case of Emotion said...

I was thinking of the Independence Day analogy too!

I am thinking of T, that is one of the hardest thing I've ever witnessed any one do and I hate when people slam BM after you come to love one... I do hope that T holds on to some type of contact.

And little K, hang in there. I am glad to hear her weight is good as that seems to be such an important factor. I'm here if you ever need to talk (or want my nursey husband's opinion) on anything.

Congrats though on it being official! It feels great!!

AplusB said...

A thousand congratulations! I am so happy for you! Having a child in the NICU is very hard, but you will all be home and the hardship of the hospital stay will be a distant memory. Again, congratulations!!!! You've worked so hard to get here...enjoy your beautiful baby girl!

It Is What It Is said...

Wow. Simply stated, wow.

Having followed your journey for so long, willing this day to come for you, my heart is full and light knowing that your perseverance paid off in spades. I know there were dark days, days you felt that this day might not ever happen, but it did and you are a mother, your husband a father, and you are a remarkable family of three!

Peace and blessings and I can't wait to see where things go.

Augusta said...

My most heartfelt congratulations to you both.

Lauren said...

Congratulations on the birth of baby K! What an exciting time for you and your family. I'm looking forward to reading more about her!

JM said...

So so beautiful!!! May your NICU days be short, and love be plentiful :)

Jenny said...

Sending you all so much love and hope for K to grow strong and healthy. You are a beautiful family, and I am so thrilled for you. K is a lucky little girl. Thank you so much for sharing your journey and giving me one more reason to hold on to hope.

Do I Have to Be a D.I.N.K.? said...

So happy for you guys! I am sitting at my desk crying tears of joy for both of you! She is beautiful!

Mike and Lisa said...

Congratulations, mama! I am SO happy for you guys!!!!!

Alex said...

Oh my goodness, finally! I'm in tears - just so happy for you!!!

I hope that Baby K's stay in NICU is fast. That's wonderful that you get to be with her 24/7!!! Parents - yes!!!

Courtney said...

I can't even tell you in words how happy I am for you guys. Oh, the tears are just flowing from my eyes as I read this and look at you holding your daughter. Be still my heart.

Michaela said...

This is amazing and beautiful! Congratulations Mom!

Kelly said...

Yes, Katie, you made it. And that, my dear friend, is the most amazing thing of all. The very thing that has broken so many for so many different reasons is what you made it through...and with a sweet baby girl, too.

Kelly said...

Congratulations, Momma!

Sandy said...

Amazing! I'm so excited for you!

Marisa said...

I've followed your journey for so long and cried my eyes out when I read this post. I'm so happy for you and am so grateful that the state of Florida didn't screw it up! There are so many things I want to say but it all boils down to YEY!!!! Congrats & enjoy!

Mo said...

Long time lurker here.
Just wanted to say a huge congrats on your baby girl. I am incredibly happy for you! Here's hoping the next few weeks in the NICU are as smooth as possible.

supposedtobemysymphony said...

Congratulations! Amazing story.

Gurlee said...

beautiful! Lovely! Amazing!!

So happy for you!

May your NICU stay be short & uneventful.

xoxo, momma!!

Logical Libby said...

She's beautiful. And you are all lucky to have each other. I am so very, very happy for you, and so thankful you are letting us share your story!

You're a MOM!

Kellie said...

Congratulations on your new baby girl. She is beautiful!!! What a wonderful Independence Day for you!

lparsons15 said...

Such a crazy day! I am so happy that Baby K arrived safely and she is doing ok..I hope that she continues to do well and will be home with you guys in no time! I love that last paragraph, really puts everything into perspective..XO

Dawn said...

A huge congratulations! I'm so happy for you! Sending loads of prayers for baby K to get healthy enough to come home soon!

AnneHorch said...

Katie, I am SO happy for you!!!!! LOVE the pic of you two with your sweet girl. Wow. I can just imagine how full your heart feels. Celebrating with you!!

*Jelena* said...

This is such a beautiful story, I literally have tears in my eyes. So so soooo happy for you Katie. :)

Brittany said...

This brought tears to my eyes. How amazing & how WONDERFUL. I know we don't know each other, but I am so very happy for you and your family. Best wishes and I cannot wait to follow your journey into mommyhood.

Geochick said...

Congratulations on your baby girl! Welcome to the other side, momma!

Anonymous said...

Omg girl you are going to make even Me cry! That lastp art about becoming parents on Independence day especially! I am just so happy for you guys!! You guys have come through so much, I am incredibly proud to have you as friends!! You are now officially on your 'when' journey!! Congratulations :) <3

kristin said...

That last comment from anonymous should have actually said Kristin ;) I was too hasty in my excitement!

Kasey said...

So happy for you guys. Hope you get to bring her home soon.

Tammy said...

I'm sitting here crying saying, "I'm so happy for you." I am thinking about you constantly and keeping you all in my thoughts. Much love, Tammy (and Carter and Lyla, too!)

Jessica said...

I am in tears....SO thrilled for you and Joey. You are PARENTS!!!! Hope the hospital stay is shorter than expected and Baby K continues to get stronger.

Beautiful family photo!

myinfertilitywoes said...

Yay! A long road indeed... thanks for sharing your elating news!

Detour said...

So thrilled for you! Congrats!!

Erica said...

Congratulations...so happy for you your hubby to be the wonderful parents you are to your sweet K.

Rebecca said...

Didn't have a chance to respond to this before but just wanted to say that this whole story had me in tears! I'm so happy for you guys. Thinking of you all!! I absolutely love your family picture!!

Stephanie said...

I am so happy for you girl!! What an amazing story you have with such a happy ending. Congratulations a thousand times over. I will be thinking of you and your family over these next several weeks and hope she continues to be such a fighter.

Keya said...

I came to your blog via another blog and had to stop to leave a comment. Firstly, congratulations!! I know its not going to be easy having little K at the NICU. I hope she comes home as soon as possible! Being a NICU mama is hard. I know, because I have been there. Try to get some rest, because you need to be well rested for when she comes home. Hugs and prayers..

Keya said...

I came here via another blog. Firstly, big congratulations to the proud parents. I know being a NICU mama is really really hard. I know because I've been there. Hang in there, try to get some rest as well. You need to be well rested for when you bring baby K home, which I pray will be soon soon soon. Good luck!

Michelle Hanway said...

i'm late to the party, but so very thrilled for you all! congrats!

The Domestic Princess said...

I'm just catching up but wanting to say Congratulations! So happy to see this post. :)