Wednesday, June 6, 2012

the clock ticks

It's going to be a long week. Or two.

Our profile is being presented along with three others, but unfortunately, we won't know anything until late next week at the earliest. I don't have a feeling either way about this situation. It's a good scenario, but I'm not letting it get into my head that this is "the one" for us. I've done that too many times, and I've had to learn how to distance myself from the situation. We'll see what happens. If she picks us, great. If not, we need to move on.

My update on the job situation is similar: I don't know anything, and I have no idea when I will know.

Mentally and emotionally, this week is a little better. I had a long weekend, and although I spent much of it working on freelance projects and a test project for the potential new job, I still had the chance to decompress a little. I feel like I'm doing a lot better on letting go of things that I can't control, and trying to move forward with my life. It's an active, constant process, but I feel like this is that sense of resolution I've achieved with my infertility crossing over to other aspects of my life.

That's pretty much all I have going on - adoption changes, work changes, and trying my hardest to keep balanced (aka not get anxious) about everything that's happening.

One day at a time. That's all I focus on anymore.

7 comments:

Dawn said...

Wow! You have so much going on! I think you are coping so well.

Wishing you all the best!

S said...

Ugh, letting go of things beyond our control is so hard! I am glad to hear you are feeling better.

Alex said...

You are so wise to distance yourself from this situation. I know it's tough, but you've been down this road before. But I can be hopeful for you, ok? Thinking of you as these work and adoption situations play out! Fingers crossed!!!!

kristin simich said...

Though our situation's may not be 100% mirrored, I have still learned in life to take one day at at time. If I stare directly at everything all at once, it's too much and I stop making it through. I have noticed since starting to live that way, life actually is more enjoyable. I seem to get to the good in that day faster. If I can't find the good I can usually find a reason to smile and keep my head up, which is something new for me. It's like starting fresh everyday instead of always having to carry it all at once. When I slow it all down and compartmentalize things my loneliness is just not as bad. Taking it one day at a time and moving forward each time I can, gets me through. It doesn't mean the loneliness goes away, It's just less when i focus on each day instead of all of them at once (esp combined with the past) Unfortunately as it goes we actually can't change our past but it becomes easier to see that everything we have been through has shaped us into the even stronger people we are now. A person that is actually thankful each day I wake up again and try to find some happiness in the shit:)

Tammy said...

Thinking of you!

lparsons15 said...

Geez!! My thoughts are with you!! I hope the time flies by..Miss you!!
Laurie

Rebecca said...

Thinking of you and hoping for lots of happy endings soon!!