Friday, June 15, 2012

c-r-a-z-y

I didn't think that things could get any crazier than last week.

I was wrong.

This week, I was interviewed by a major news publication about my experience with infertility. I was also officially offered my new position - a promotion - at work. And then the icing on the crazy cake: I got a phone call earlier this afternoon from the attorney's office. The expectant mother can't decide between us and another couple. She favors the other couple a bit because they've adopted before, but she wants to speak with both of us before deciding. So, we have a phone call to make tomorrow afternoon.

Aside from "please don't die of a heart attack before the phone call," does anyone have any ass-vice for us? Our only advice to ourselves is to BE ourselves.

Someone pass the wine. It's going to be a long weekend.

24 comments:

kristin simich said...

I don't feel like I'm in a place to give advice but I'm so happy I'm here this weekend because I CAN pas the wine:) Best of luck girl!!

Rebecca said...

Holy yikes!!! No advice -- just crossing everything I've got for you. And amazing about all the rest too!!

(and, no, I don't know what holy yIkes means...)

AnotherDreamer said...

Oh, wow! No advice, but I'll be thinking of you and hoping for good news!

Anonymous said...

Hmm ... if she prefers the other because they've adopted before, I take that to mean that she wants her child to have a sibling? If so, if you plan on adopting in the future, you can let her know that, and that her child will get to be a big sister or brother.

lparsons15 said...

Holy smokes! Pass the wine indeed! Congrats on your promotion! Good luck with the phone call!!

Arlyne said...

Being yourselves is probably the best advice. You are wonderful people who will make fantastic parents!!! I pray that the expectant mother sees how amazing the 2 of you are!!! xoxo

Jin said...

holy crap! Ummm, ummm, I cant think of anything to tell you guys, other than to really be yourselves. And that I'll be up here with everything crossed for you and Joey.

Jessica said...

I remember that terrifying phone call....I literally thought I was going to have a heart attack. Well you already have the #1 advice...be yourself. They are just as nervous as you are, so telling them how you feel makes you relatable. Tell them how thankful you are that they are considering you or taking the time to talk to you. Talk about how strong your relationship with J is and how much you two want to have a child. Ask if they have any questions for you. Try to find things you have in common so they feel a connection with you.

I am so anxious to find out how it goes. Please keep us updated. Good luck!!!

It Is What It Is said...

Although I have never been in the position of having a call with a BM, the friends I know who did would tell you to perhaps jot down some topical subjects to fill any lull in conversation (ie what types of things might she be doing this summer, what kind of weather where she lives, how 'bout them Kings out in LA :). To the degree to which she directs the conversation, fine, but often times there can be pauses and having something to fill them with is helpful. Making it about her and answering her questions in getting to know you is the goal, I think.

Amanda said...

Eeeep! How exciting!!! I can't wait to hear how tomorrow goes. You'll be in my prayers!

Augusta said...

I was going to say that you really need some good Pinot this evening, but you already thought of that.
I follow your story from afar, and really hope that your child is coming home very, very soon.

MrsMann said...

I think Anonymous gave great advice. Good luck!

Glass Case of Emotion said...

I want to read the article!!

As far as the call.. I agree, be YOU. Try to find common ground. Prepare some questions in case it gets awkward. I think what will make more of a lasting impression than what you say is how you say it and whether she feels a connection. It's a bit like a first date!

Good luck, fingers crossed...

KAM said...

Thinking of you! I'll drink a cocktail for you! :)

Mud Hut Mama said...

Congratulations on the promotion! Best of luck with the phone call!

manymanymoons said...

You ARE having a crazy week! I am so happy for you that you have this chance to let them get to know you. Someone being the "front runner" means absolutely nothing when it comes to this because it's all about clicking with each other. They could easily walk away from this feeling a huge connection to you and your husband. Try to put the other couple out of your head as much as possible.

We went through 5 birth parent meetings and although we were chosen and several fell through before we were eventually sucessful, we did have lots of good luck. I think what we found to be very important was to acknowledge how nervous we were right up front. It always broke the ice and gave us a common bond. I also think they loved hearing about how we both grew up and our favorite family traditions. It kind of allowed them to visualize some of the things we would like to pass on to our child and helped them to picture what the babies childhood might look like even just a little. Amelia's birth mother loved how much we had in common with her parents. It might be a good idea to ask them to tell you about themselves too so that you can pick up on what you have in common and point those things out. I think when it all comes down to it, lots of birth mothers are looking to find someone who is as close to themselves as possible to raise their child. I know this isn't much, but I hope it helps. Please let me know if you have any specific questions.

You'll do great!

Melissa G said...

No advice here.

Just crossing everything that she realizes quickly you guys are the best choice.

Seriously said...

What a week indeed!!! When we called our Birthparents for the first time, they had 3 questions for us and then there was lots of silence. So we just came up with some questions on the fly...felt totally awkward...but somehow managed to get through it. If you have any questions write some down beforehand if you can. But other than that...really...just keep on taking deep breaths ... and more deep breaths. ;) Best of luck!!!

Elizabeth said...

SO MUCH!! AH!! Fingers (and toes) crossed for you!

Michaela said...

Congratulations! Congratulations and Congratulations!!

Dawn said...

I have been thinking of you and Joey all day! Hope the call went well!!

Secret Sloper said...

I hope things went well today! Whatever happens, I'm sure you were your usual wonderful self. I am hoping hard that you won this birth mother over today.

Michaela said...

Congratulation, Congratulations and try to breathe is the only advice I have. Good luck!!

BrokenBirdsBees said...

But if the other couple already adopted before then they have a child. You don't. I think you should be preferred. Least that makes sense to my infertile mind. Probably not to the rest of the world.