Wednesday, February 8, 2012

3 months

Today marks the beginning of month #3 on the waiting list, and I did something yesterday I swore I would never do.

I emailed the agency.

Why did I swear I would never do this? Well, because the agency told us not to. It says so in our welcome letter. Sort of. It actually says, "No calls." But I emailed. That doesn't count, right?

Sorry. I couldn't help it. It's been three months. We've been good. We've been quiet. We've been patient (for the most part). And now I'm DYING for an update. We went to dinner with friends of ours on Monday who used the same agency, and they encouraged us to contact them. Chris put it best: you are paying them a lot of money to perform a service. They shouldn't get upset if you check in once and a while.

Valid point.

So now, instead of obsessing over the fact that it's been three months and we haven't had a call since the first week, I'm going to continue to hit "refresh" on my email inbox in a manic fashion while I wait for some kind of response from the agency.

Wish me luck. And send me sanity.

Update: I just heard back from the agency. They said our profile looks great, and they've had a lot of positive feedback on us from birth parents. Which means they're showing us!

21 comments:

Just the Tip said...

I think an email is completely acceptable. And you are right, that is a A LOT of money. I hope you get an update soon AND that they are kind in their response. And that it includes something like, "email us anytime!"

PS...don't break the mouse or else when the email comes you may not be able to open it!

Arlyne said...

Wishing you tons & tons of luck & sending tremendous (((hugs))) your way!! I'm sure 3 months feels like an eternity, especially considering you've really been waiting 3 years! Hang in there, I'm praying for you guys every day! xo

Brittany said...

Wishing you tons and tons of luck!! I think an email is totally acceptable and I likely would have done the same thing! Three months is a long time with no contact. I hope they get back to you soon!

Rach said...

Our agency recommended checking in every 3 months but I called/emailed monthly!! Don't feel bad. I hope they get back with you soon!

missohkay said...

I hate this delicate dance with the agency. You do have a right to contact them for services that you pay dearly for. You are smart and thoughtful about how often to do it, so even if they are rude in response (something I'm quite familiar with!) don't feel bad about getting the answers you need to set your mind at ease.

someday-soon said...

I agree, you are paying a lot of money and you deserve updates =) KUP!!!

Tillie said...

I couldn't imagine that wait. I think contacting them is smart...I would be obsessively refreshing too!!! :)

Trisha said...

You shouldn't feel bad for emailing them or calling them for that matter! Now don't get me wrong, if you were doing it every couple of hours then they would probably be annoyed :) I emailed once a month for an update; if there wasn't an update for us, then at least I would know what was going on with the agency. It made the wait a little more bearable! And your friend is exactly right, you are paying money (a lot of it) for a service so there's nothing wrong with a little contact :)

Rebecca said...

I think I'd have the same feelings about contacting or not contacting. I hate to be a "bother" but I also really, really want an update. I hope you hear back from them soon.

Amber said...

WOW, "no calls" is really harsh. Absolutely you should email them! You are paying for a service at this point and you have every right to make sure things are on track and see how things are going. I remember our worker saying "call anytime if you want to see how things are going." Let us know what they come back with!

If it makes you feel any better, three months is about the interval I would email at during our wait. I think you've been more than patient!

AnotherDreamer said...

No calls is pretty harsh :/ You really are paying a lot of money, you should be allowed to check in from time to time!

robin said...

Emailing after 3 months of silence is TOTALLY reasonable. No guilt! And good luck!!

Dawn said...

I can understand them not wanting a daily call, but one email after three months is very reasonable. Wishing you tons of patience and a quick match!

It Is What It Is said...

I agree that they are providing a service and should be accountable to provide some level of feedback. Our agency sent out an email re: the number of times in the previous month our profile was shown (it included the date of presentation, first name of the BM, and the status. Not only did that provide useful data but I felt it kept up front of mind since it was prepared, manually, but our case worker.

Glass Case of Emotion said...

I asked monthly for the first 3 months and then decided to check in every so often. I agree, it can't hurt. Glad you are being shown regularly!

JC said...

I'm glad you got an update! It sucks when you have a long dry spell and don't hear anything. I would do the same thing...like "hey, you didn't forget about me did you?" lol. I'm sure your baby is just around the corner. You guys are great!

Geochick said...

I wouldn't feel guilty at all. good news that your profile is being shown!

Logical Libby said...

They said no calls? Um, you are paying them how much? That is just bad business. I'm glad they responded positively though, or else I would be telling you to look for another agency.

gailcanoe said...

*fingers crossed* (and toes, eyes, and anything else that I can cross)

Secret Sloper said...

Great update! I'm hoping the right birth parents are just about to find you guys.

Camille said...

Just came upon your blog. Excited to hear how things are progressing! :)