Thursday, September 1, 2011

cry, cry, cry (or not)

I can't cry.

No really, I can't. I cannot cry.

It's not that I'm trying to cry on a regular basis. But I am used to crying on a regular basis - as in at least once per week. I've always been an emotional person, and crying tends to help me with my stress. I'm generally less agitated when I cry regularly.

Lately, though, my tears seem to be missing. I've had some extremely stressful days, and I FEEL like crying. Yet nothing happens. My whole chest hurts, I have the lump in my throat, and my eyes are as dry as can be. The other night it got so bad, I actually tried to find a sad movie that would make me cry. How pathetic is that?

I know this is going to sound weird for some people - especially my husband, who is obviously not a woman - but I need to cry. Crying is my release. Crying is the way that I get all of the bad stuff out. Sure, going to the gym and having an extra tough workout helps. But tears? Tears wash everything away. There's nothing like having a good cry. AND I CAN'T HAVE ONE.

What's wrong with me?

16 comments:

Whitney Anderson said...

Sounds like you've probably cried a lot lately and now you have nothing left. I get like that sometimes. But, I am a cryer too and you're right, it helps to get it all out.

Beth Rasmussen said...

I've been there too. My cure - chopping some onions. Even if you don't have a use for them, stick them in a ziploc baggie after chopping & chuck them in the freezer till you need them. It's usually enough to get me going & I always feel so much better afterwards.

nurslouisa said...

Are you on an SSRI? If so I've heard that can happen, especially with lexapro it makes people feel numb. Sorry.

Glass Case of Emotion said...

I am a huge crier and have resorted to sad songs/ movies to whip up the tears. I have had this happen sometimes- but it usually goes away. Are you on any meds now that affect hormones/ mood- that can do it. It sucks though.

Kakunaa said...

I was going to ask about the SSR,too...

kristin simich said...

Well thanks, because apparently we swapped! I am not a big crier and I find myself crying lately, so feel free to take it back :) <3

erika said...

This is a sucky stage to be. I absolutely hated not being able to cry. I say it might be time for that drink! crap!

Anonymous said...

"My Girl" and "Sweet Magnolias" are my go-to cry movies. Hope you get the release you need. It does suck to have it all bottled up.

Brave IVF Girl said...

Do you cry when you laugh? I use damnyouautocorrect.com to lift my mood when I'm feeling crappy and sometimes the laughing-crying turns into crying-crying.

*hugs*

Jem said...

Nothing is wrong with you. You sound all cried out, that's all.

I use tears as my compass to know when emotionally I'm on target with something, that I've reached the heart of the matter when discussing something that means a lot to me.

You will find those tears again.

LC said...

I have felt this way before and I kind of described it as being just "numb".

Jin said...

I was going to suggest the onions things as well. Maybe you just need a little outside help to get the tear ducts flowing??? Or jalapenos near your eye?

Hoping you get your cry soon to feel better.

Rita said...

Like the other posters said, maybe you're just all cried out. Being unable to cry has to be so frustrating. I'm not a big crier, but when I do cry, I definitely feel better afterwards.

Big (((hugs))) and sending many tears/good cry vibes your way.

Rebecca said...

I find myself heading toward sad songs and movies when I can't cry, too. Like others, it happens to me most often when I'm on SSRIs. But, even without, there are times where it's as if my brain just goes numb and I can't react to things anymore. I'll force myself to watch something horribly sad just to get through it -- because sometimes it helps to just get it all out.

Giant ((hugs)).

aunTelcia said...

Your post is good; I find the comments fascinating. All those manipulated tears...wow.
There's actually a funny stand-up comedy about this by someone. I'm not huge into comedians cuz they can't usually make me laugh, but this guy does. Can't remember his name. I thought some one else would mention it, because it's called something like "a good cry." But reading through, nobody mentioned it.
Someone mentioned something about numbness. I'm curious about this too.
Also, I think it might be possible to cry yourself out of tears. I never saw my extremely soft-hearted Gramma cry and she said she couldn't--even for her family members' deaths. She cried so hard all the time when one of her eldest sons went off to war and then never cried another tear drop!
And me, I have always been a highly selective crier--selective to the crowd.
Until about college and two things happened: I got comfortable with myself and (2) my heart got broken. I'm a healthy crier now, I'ld say.
Thanks for posting!

c said...

If you do end up adopting, it sounds like you will be able to be empathetic towards your child's bmom because many bmoms I know would be nodding when they read your words and saying "yes that is how I feel".