WHY are people so obsessed with getting me pregnant?
Since we discovered the "issues" with my pituitary gland, I've lost count of how many times I've heard, "So . . . does this mean you can get pregnant?" Or, the number of times I've heard stories about women getting their prolactin levels regulated and then getting knocked up.
Don't worry. I'm not mad if you're one of the dozens of people who've asked me this or if you're one of the women who has shared her experience. I'm just curious as to why people care so much.
Because, the truth is, I don't care.
No really. I don't. Just to satisfy the masses, though: Yes, it has crossed my mind that there is a possibility of getting pregnant. No, we are not pursuing pregnancy. I don't necessarily think that it's anyone's business why, but I'm going to write about it anyway.
I'm not opposed to getting pregnant down the road, if it's even possible. Yes, regulating my prolactin levels would probably increase our chances. Unfortunately, there are plenty of other factors to think about. For one, there are still male factor issues. While they aren't extreme, they aren't great, either. We would still need to do a minimum of IUIs to get pregnant. For another, I'm not ready to embark on the physical journey required of me for more fertility treatments. I went through three surgeries in 13 months. I put so much medication in my body, I don't look or feel like the same person I used to. Then, there's time. Wasting more time putting my body through IUIs, putting Joey through more testing . . . it's not worth it, because there is still no guarantee. If it doesn't work, we'll be right back to where we are now.
But mostly, and this is the #1 reason for not trying to get pregnant: it doesn't matter how I become a mom at this point.
I know it's not meant to come across this way, but asking me if I'm going to try and get pregnant or offering up pregnancy success stories makes me feel like people don't view adoption as a "real" way of becoming a mom. Or that all I ever wanted in the first place was to be pregnant. That's not true. All I ever wanted were kids, and now all I care about is having ONE child. Whether that child comes out of me or is dropped off on my doorstep by some mysterious stork doesn't make a difference. I learned a long time ago that I could be a mom any way I want. (Hell, I'm technically a mom now to a furry, 12-pound diva of a miniature dachshund.) And this, adoption, is the way I want to be a mom.
Being a mom isn't about carrying a child. It's about caring for a child. I know I've written that dozens of times before, but it's worth repeating here. Did I envision this path when I first set out to become a parent? No. I didn't look at Joey at the beginning of this and say, "Hey! Let's adopt a baby." I said, "Hey! Let's try and have a baby." Along the way, our path changed. I've embraced that path.
I only wish other people would, too.