Since Tuesday's appointment, I've had a lot of time to think. Or, should I say, I've had several sleepless nights to think. When my clinic called back on Tuesday afternoon, they said exactly what I thought they would say - there is nothing more they can do except constant monitoring. No, they don't know why this keeps happening on one side. No, I don't have PCOS. Yes, my AMH is normal (1.7).
I don't know much. What I do know is that I'm exhausted. Beyond exhausted. I've cried numerous times this week, and I still feel like I'm on the verge of tears today. Here I am supposed to be taking a break from doctors and appointments and fertility shit, and I have to go back MONTHLY to check and make sure my ovaries aren't exploding. It finally hit me that I am not going to be able to avoid doctors. As much as I want to, that is not destined to be my way of life. Ironically, the months that I'm medicated are the months I don't get cysts.
And I don't want to be medicated anymore.