Please note on your readers that I have a new blog: http://nowaystosayit.com.

If you have any questions, you can email me at katieschaber (at) gmail.com.

Thank you for all of your support over the years! xo

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

a little of this, a little of that

Last week and the weekend was a whirlwind.

On Thursday, I had the privilege of iChatting with PCOSChick. She has been such a wonderful source of support for me since we made our decision to adopt. In fact, she's one of the few people I contacted before we announced our decision, because she and her husband are in the midst of the adoption process right now. She not only answered a bunch of my ridiculous and personal questions, but she also ordered books and magazines for Joey and I to read. I am forever grateful for everything she's done/is doing for us, and I can't wait to pay it forward to another couple once we go through this process.

Then, on Friday, I had two of my friends/fellow RESOLVE volunteers e-mail me with the contact information for a friend of theirs who does adoption home studies in the area independent of any agency. I sent her an e-mail, and she called me on Friday evening. Even though it'll be next year before we start the paperwork process, it felt good to talk to a professional. Obviously Joey needs to speak with her, too, but I felt positive about using her for our home study. If one friend raves about her, that's great. If another friend raves about her, I feel like she must be doing something right.

Beyond the adoption front, things are going well. Next week is my last week of classes for the semester, and unless something goes terribly wrong with my final papers, I should get out of the first semester with a 4.0. I haven't decided if I will take two or three classes next semester. My goal is to finish early (in the spring of 2012), which will require me to take three courses during two of my remaining semesters. So, what do you think? Do you think I should take three next semester, then three during either the fall of 2011 or the following spring? Or should I take three courses two semesters in a row: fall 2011 and spring 2012? I'm torn.

With the holidays coming up, I feel differently than I did last year. Not better, not worse . . . just different. I don't know if our decision to adopt has anything to do with that but I feel like it might. Last year, the holidays were horrible for me. We'd just finished two IUI cycles - both of which failed - and neither of us were feeling confident about our clinic. This year? I feel stoic. Unemotional. Maybe it will hit me after Thanksgiving, when all of the ads referencing "baby's first Christmas" and "you aren't a complete family until you pop out an offspring" begin. Or maybe I feel peace.

I haven't felt peace in so long that I've forgotten what it feels like.

25 comments:

manymanymoons said...

Good for you. I am sure this process will bring with it a rollercoaster of emotions, but it must feel so good to feel at peace at least for right now, especially at this time of the year.

Kakunaa said...

Peace is certainly something to celebrate. :) And I would take the heavier load now...never know once you get the process started when a babe will head your way!

EC said...

I hope you are feeling at peace, and that the holidays are easier for you this year.

For your classes, I would look at what you'll be taking, and base it on that. Are certain courses more difficult or known for having heavy workloads? If there are, you might want to opt for a lighter load when taking those. I know, too, that my courses got a lot easier in the end, just because I was used to the content and everything else - so taking three at a time later might be easier.

AL said...

I hope the holidays are so much easier to handle this year with this new path you're on.

Congrats on a 4.0 this semester, that is awesome!!

someday-soon said...

Yeah for progress on the home study front! It's great you found someone you feel good about. If it were me I'd take three classes...while the momentum is up it's nice to get them knocked out. Hopefully it's peace you feel this holiday!!!

PCOSChick said...

It is my pleasure!! I am glad I can help & feel so honored to be "part" of this journey with you!

I am excited for all there is to come for you & Joey!

I say take the classes & knock em out too btw! Do not be like me, I said I would do 1 & then just keep doing 1 or 2 during our process...I made it a semester & haven't been back :( You can do it!!!

A. said...

I just started following your story, but I wanted to wish you the best of luck as you pursue adoption and look forward to following the journey. To have finally found some measure of peace in this is a huge accomplishment - it's so important.

Browniris said...

I am excited that you are adopting! It has been such an amazing journey for us so far. With school, I think I would try and get as many classes out of the way as quickly as you can. I know that adoption can take a while, but it can also go quickly...so it might help to get classes over with sooner rather than later.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Leslie said...

So happy that you have found a great support network to help you with the adoption process. Yeah for finding some peace. I am excited to follow your new journey. Happy thanksgiving.

Randi said...

Yay! Glad you're feeling more firm in yourself. As for you classes, I just suggest not leaving one of the 3 class semesters as the last semester. At the end I was so sick of grad school I was ready to drop out. It's a good thing I only had 2 classes that semester or I might have had to pay for another semester just to finish up. If you try to bang the 3 class ones out early you always have a fall back if you have to drop a class for whatever reason. Just a suggestion :)

suchagoodegg said...

Peace is a good, good, good thing. Thinking of you Katie, and hoping that feeling thrives this holiday week. xoxo

Secret Sloper said...

Crazy how we can recognize these emotions we used to take for granted-- peace, hope, optimism, contentment--and realize what gifts they are. I'm so glad you are experiencing them now and I am so glad this Christmas is going to be a joyful time for you.

rebecca said...

Peace is such a wonderful thing, so glad you're finding it again! A sure sign that you are on the right path.
So glad you found a social worker to start the home study process for you, we did the same thing and used someone a friend recommended who was independent and it went wonderfully!
I didn't know you were in school, what are you studying? I think I'd go ahead and take the heavier load now if you feel like you can handle it so that way its less you have to worry about in the future.

Jen said...

I'm so glad to hear about your feelings of peace. It's the perfect time of year for some peace :)

Kim said...

Your making such wonderful progress across the board, and peace is something long overdue and much deserved by yourself and Joey. I certainly hope this is the begining of brand new life changing cycle of events for you...nothing but good feelings about your recent decisions. xoxoxox

Katie said...

I'm so glad that you are feeling good about your adoption decision. And once you are holding that sweet baby in your arms, she will be YOURS and you will be HERS, no matter she arrived there. :-)

As far as school goes, I say get as much out of the way as soon as you can. Randi is right....the longer you are in grad school, the more burned out you get! And, I don't know how long adoption processes usually take, but you NEVER KNOW when it might happen - you'd rather take heavy loads now, so you can have lighter loads once baby arrives.

GOOD LUCK!!

amiracle4us said...

I hope this year you are able to smile through the holidays as a family of 2 and next year, smile bigger being a family of 3!!!

Marianne said...

I have no advice for the classes because I have always taken too much and ended up dropping something..then regretting the dropping :)

Yay for peace!

nobabyruth said...

That's great that you are starting to talk to people who are both going through this and can help you and Joey on your way. I would guess it makes the whole journey a bit less intimidating.

Congrats on that 4.0! I'm impressed!! I say you bite the bullet now and take 3 classes in the Spring. But I've always been a fan of just getting it out of the way. Plus then you'll have a bit more flexibility with the remaining two semesters depending on what other demands you might have... :)

Trisha said...

So glad you have a peace. I went through the same thing when we decided. Just one caution with getting an outside source to do your homestudy....depending on which agency you choose, some want you to use their social workers etc and won't take homestudies from other groups, you may want to ask before you decide.

As for the classes, I would probably go ahead and take them to get them out of the way. You never know, you may not have to wait too long once your approved and then going to class is going to be difficult :)

Rebecca said...

I think feeling peace is a wonderful thing.

For the classes, I'd get them out fo the way -- who knows what might be happening after that time! Or, at least, take the three next semest and then see how it goes for the next one.

MelissaP05 said...

I'm so happy about everything that's happening for you. I'd certainly love to have a sense of peace, but at the moment it's nowhere in sight. I'm really looking forward to following your journey. Sending you lots of love.

CoffeeBlue said...

We just started our adoption process and I just found your blog through blogher (I just joined...lots of firsts this month I guess). Anyway, wanted to wish you good luck! I'll be following along....

Conceptionally Challenged said...

It would be great if you've already found someone for the home study!
And I hope you'll feel at peace soon. I'm so glad that all those holidays are so much less child-centric over here (and kind of dreading next year).

Pixie said...

Congrats on your adoption journey! I think you are right about peace. We get so focused on becoming parents and there are all these hurdles that we are constantly trying to get over--whether in fertility issues or adoption--that we forget what it's like to just BE. We aren't too far into our whole adoption journey, but would be happy to share what we've learned so far. Best of luck!
Pix--
Cheese Curds and Kimchi