Tuesday, August 24, 2010

things I don't understand

Why I can never catch a break.
Why I haven't completely lost it yet.
Why people who don't want kids have them.
Why some people can just decide to have kids and get pregnant.
Why others have to wait months or years for their gift.
Why people who have kids don't appreciate them.
Why it matters what gender your child is.
Why pregnant women complain.
Why pregnant infertiles forget.
Why I have to go through another holiday season infertile.
When I'm going to get what I deserve.
When my heart is ever going to stop hurting.
When enough is enough.
When I am going to get my happy ending.

50 comments:

Secret Sloper said...

I hate these questions. I hate that you are asking them, I hate that I understand them. And maybe I hate the slow (yet horribly fast) passage of time most of all.

I want the happy endings for both of us.

serenity said...

*hug*

Crossed Fingers said...

Sending lots of hugs - I wish I had answers for you on your questions. I holding out hope for you yet!

The Domestic Princess said...

((hugs)) I hate that anyone has to ask these questions. Infertility sucks!

jennifer said...

Ditto.

Jessica said...

I ask myself these questions all the time!!

Stephanie said...

I feel ya! Sending you hugs!!!

Dawn said...

I'm sorry that you are asking these questions. I'm sending lots of hugs your way.

Jin said...

Ok, so I'm saying the holiday season starts with Halloween. That gives us a little over 2 months to go. I have hope!

I dont understand the gender thing either. Someone has yet to explain it to me.

Adele said...

Yes. To all of this. I can't get my mind around these things either.

waiting and wishing said...

I'm asking all of the same questions right now... I'll let you know when someone answers them! Especially the one about gender!

someday-soon said...

{{{HUGS}}} I hope your happy ending is coming soon!!!

Elizabeth said...

Couldn't have said it better myself. I feel like I'm going to feel this way forever. I want to cry it's so unfair!

Kelly said...

Yep. That list pretty much covers it. One "good" days, I only obsess over a few of them. On bad days? I'm on the couch, sobbing, focusing on every single question on that list.

(((HUGS))), Katie

AL said...

Right there with you on all of these, Katie.

I want to know when that happy ending will be here for both of us. Hugs.

Do I Have to Be a D.I.N.K.? said...

Ditto...

(HUGS)

Glass Case of Emotion said...

Yup. You pretty much covered it. I'm sorry we have to wonder these things.

Mrs. Lemon said...

I hear you completely! This plagues me daily. Happy Endings are hopefully coming.

Rebecca said...

Yep. These questions suck. I don't understand it either.

Rach said...

These same questions circle my mind daily. Cruel torture.

Josey said...

The same questions go through every IF's mind it seems. :( I'm sorry you're overwhelmed with the questions lately Katie - hang in there. ((HUGS))

Kim said...

Right there with you Katie. Wish we all had answers.

Stefanie Blakely said...

I don't understand either, Katie. It's just not fair. *hugs*

Jem said...

Amen, sister!

AplusB said...

huge (((hugs))). Hoping you get a happy ending very, very soon.

Rita said...

I wish I had answers for you. Those questions suck and they make no sense. I wish the world was a fair place.

Kakunaa said...

Katie, I wish none of us had to ask these questions. Know that you have support. HUGS. Hang in there, sweetie.

P.S. I will NEVER forget.

Cheryl said...

*hugs*

Erin said...

Thank you for posting this. These questions go through my head every single day. The last questions answer is SOON!

Augusta said...

I have stopped by your blog before but never commented. My apologies for that. I like how you write and (sadly) I can relate to your struggles.
I was sad to read that your last IUI did not work, although very excited for you about the ovulation. I hope that in the near future, the things you don't understand, listed in this post, become a distant memory as you rub your baby belly.

Alex said...

You're right - every one of those. I don't understand either.

Sarah S said...

ugh, I have asked myself all of these comments over and over again!!

Hugs....

Marla said...

Ditto squared!

A said...

HUG. I am struggling with most of these, too, especially why pregnant infertiles forget, today...

The Steffens said...

This post really was a punch in the chest. I have asked myself every one of those questions over and over. There are no answers and it's all incredibly unfair.

Sending hugs and hoping things turn around for you.

womb for improvement said...

At least you are still saying 'when' not 'if'.

Hang on in there.

JL said...

*hug*

I ask myself these same questions and come up with the same lack of answers.

You are not alone, at all, and it freaking sucks.

Mummy in Waiting said...

Yep, sounds like questions I ask myself frequently (((BIG HUG)))

suchagoodegg said...

Yeah, I hate that I TOTALLY GET ALL OF THESE Qs. And that you are asking them today. IF f-ing sucks. (((hugs))) Katie.

waiting for baby said...

EXACTLY!!!!!!!

Kandid Kelli said...

I HATE HATE HATE HATE that you have to ask these questions. THAT SUCKS!

ily

xo
-K

Bobbi said...

I'm glad i came across your blog. This post speaks so much truth to me!!! I know so many people that told me, "Oh, we've started trying" only to tell me within a couple months they are pregnant. And then teenagers who make one mistake, end up pregnant, while women who are desperately ready and want to be a mother, can't conceive! This is a broken world, that is for sure! I'm now following your blog. :)

~Bobbi @ www.thejohnsonsjourney.com

JC said...

((HUGS))

Let me know if you need a Tijuana date Thurs/Fri.

T said...

I do not understand these either. I just hope that someday all of our questions get answered.

((((Hugs)))))

Leslie said...

I think we have all asked ourselves similar questions at one point in time! You are not alone! I wish they were easier questions to answer though!! Sending ++ vibes to you that your happy ending is right around the corner!!

S.I.F. said...

All kinds of love and understanding....

Danielle said...

Everything you said...YES.

Waiting Lisa said...

I'm with you on all of those.

Honestly I don't know what will happen if it doesn't happen for me by Christmas. I am going to lose it. Seriously lose it.

Erin said...

Hugs. I'm sorry, Katie. :( I wish I could say something more helpful than that. I haven't forgotten...

Jess said...

Unfortunately, we are not supposed to understand. I don't think we will see the big picture clearly until we get to Heaven and God shows us.

Hoping you can find blessing in your life and look past the things we won't understand and that will always bug us.