Friday, August 6, 2010

let there be cake

"I wish I could bake a cake filled with rainbows and smiles and everyone would eat and be happy." -- Mean Girls

Happy 300th 200th Friday Blog Roundup! If you don't know what the Roundup is, go check out (the amazingly fabulous) Mel's blog and then come back and see me.

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I've always said that life events or crises teach you who your true friends are, and I've found this to be true with infertility. When doctors first diagnosed us with infertility over a year and a half ago, I had no one to turn to. Most friends and family members didn't understand what we were going through and what we were about to face. They are fertile. They don't know what it's like to go crazy because they aren't able to fulfill their motherly or fatherly instinct. They don't know what it's like to go for broke in every aspect of your life to have a child. They don't know what it's like to cry until your body shakes after a failed cycle or a miscarriage. They can smile and try to lend a hand (or make completely inappropriate comments), and then just like that, they move on. But we don't move on. We carry this burden day in and day out.

When I began blogging, I had no idea that there was such a large community whose members were going through the exact same things we were going through. I credit Mel for this. If it weren't for her blog, I wouldn't know many of you. I would have never read your stories, felt your pain, or had your support--and all of those things have been vital in making me who I am today as a blogger and as a person.

Each of you is more than a friend. We are a family. We laugh together and cry together. Sometimes we disagree, but at the end of the day, I know I can come on here and pour my heart and soul onto this page without fear that someone will judge me, or think I'm insane, or try to talk me out of one decision or another. It's easy to get wrapped up in thinking that you and your partner are the only couple in the world that is facing this. But reading your blogs and your comments reminds me that we are not alone. We are millions strong: united we stand and divided we fall. My hope is that we always remember where we came from, and we always value each other's worth.

To those of you reading this who have been there to support me at any point on this journey: thank you. Thank you for not being a mean girl, and for filling my cake with rainbows and smiles so that my darkest days may not be so dark. And thank you to Mel. As much as it sucks being infertile, it's people like you who make me love being a part of this community. Cheers to you and happy birthday to the Roundup.

29 comments:

Kandid Kelli said...

So beautifully written Katie! I am so glad you have such a wonderful community!

xo
-K

Rach said...

Your welcome! P.S. that is a beautiful cake!!

Trisha said...

I know I'm new around here, but I am enjoying learning more about you! I was in that same place you were, people around us just didn't and still don't understand what we've gone through and what we've been through.

Kakunaa said...

What a fabulous tribute :) what would we do without this enormous family?

AL said...

Love love love your wedding cake!!

So glad to have this community and YOU to help me through Infertility.

Great post, Katie!

Kim said...

Gorgeous cake, I love it! The feelings are mutual Katie, you are such a role model in this iF community for all of us. Not only do I get to come along for your journey, but read your beautiful posts, each and every one. Thank you my friend. xoxoxoxoxox

Josey said...

We are definitely a family, in every sense of the word... like you said, we can disagree, but in the end of the day, we have each other's backs, and usually in a much more profound way than the fertiles in our life could ever hope to be, simply because of the unfortunate circumstance of IF.

I'm so grateful I found your blog Katie - your writing inspires me and helps me through my dark days as well. Thank you.

Glass Case of Emotion said...

Wow... your cake is Amazing!

Yay for the bestest blogging friends ever!

Stephanie said...

I couldn't agree more! The support that I've found through blogs has been wonderful!

Alex said...

This is beautiful - thanks for your post!

Elizabeth said...

Not sure where I would be without our community! You've been more of a friend to me for over a year than some people I've known 2, 3, 4 times as long. Thanks

Hayley said...

Mmm now I want cake.

I know I don't know exactly what you're going through, but if there is ever a time when you need anything, you know how to reach me. I love you and Joey!

Kristi said...

Very well written and your cake is beautiful. I hope it tasted as good as it looked.

T said...

Love you too!

jensays (what would jen do) said...

i love cake!
i'm also seriously glad i found people like you who get what i'm going thru. i know i never talk about what i'm dealing with but i like to be able to come around and read other peoples stories

DaisyGal said...

HI, here from the roundup...your wedding cake was divine

and I'm so glad we all have this village, community, women to learn from...talk to, cry with...because it gets us through the unspeakable days. I don't know what I'd do without any of you.

Jen said...

Totally agreed! Beautiful cake!!

hopeisafourletterword said...

What a beautiful post. You put in to words exactly how I feel. I wish I could express myself so eloquently.

areyoukiddingme said...

Beautiful cake and wonderful words!

someday-soon said...

Wonderful post! We are a family and I don't think I would have made it to the "other side" in one piece without the support of everyone here and on IV. If I've put even one rainbow in your cake you are most welcome, I know you have put them in mine =)

PS WOW, what a beautiful wedding cake!

Kelly said...

Thanks for posting this. So often, you are able to articulate just how I'm feeling so much better than I ever could have!

Beautiful cake!

Teresa @ Grammy Girlfriend said...

A beautiful post...so glad that I stopped by.....

Dawn said...

What a wonderful post! And that is a beautiful cake!

Adele said...

Thank goodness for the support of fellow bloggers...and for cake:)

Rebecca said...

Beautiful cake, beautiful post and DITTO!!!

Jin said...

Thanks Katie, I now want some cake.

(and I never needed any prodding to have some cake). Beautiful cake and beautiful post! And thank you for being there for us!

Waiting Lisa said...

Beautifully written, as always. <3

Crossed Fingers said...

Aw I love it! Thanks for your support, hugs, cheers and thoughts you always leave me as well. You have been such a great friend through all of this.

Even faced with your own battles you are always ready with hope, smiles and cheer. You are an amazing person!

Basic Girl said...

Couldn't agree more, I feel lucky to have "met" every single one of my bloggie friends!! And I totally just watched mean girls yesterday on tv, love that movie!!