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Thank you for all of your support over the years! xo

Friday, July 23, 2010

more than she should bear

I don't typically write sad, gut-wrenching stories in this blog. I try my best to keep things as light as possible and make a conscious effort not to maintain a depressing atmosphere. 

But I have to share a story. And it's a story that rips my heart apart.

On June 29, two police officers in Tampa, about an hour southwest of Orlando, were shot and killed during a routine traffic stop. Three days later, police found and arrested the suspect. One day after that, the city honored both officers in a memorial service. 31-year-old David Curtis left behind a wife and four boys. Jeffrey Kocab, also 31, also left behind his wife, 9-months pregnant with their first child, to whom he'd been married for ten years.

The shooting was top news. On some networks, it made national headlines. But in the days that followed the suspect's arrest and the victims' memorial service, the spotlight slowly faded from this horrific story. It became just another tragedy in a list of thousands.

Two days ago, Sara Kocab delivered her and Jeff's first child. Lilly Nicole.

Lilly was stillborn.

And Sara must now bury her daughter, just weeks after burying her husband.

I've questioned faith and humanity a lot in this journey, but never so much as in the moment that I heard Sara lost her child. The same thoughts circled in my head over and over again: married ten years, finally pregnant, dead husband, only child, stillborn. Reading about Jeff, Sara, and their daughter moved me so much, that I found myself practically wordless. Yet, I felt it necessary to share it so that we--a community filled with tragedy and loss of our own--could keep her in our thoughts over the coming months. 

But this story took another turn yesterday morning. A turn that, despite my greatest efforts, I could never put into writing as well as Sue Carlton did in her column published this morning in the St. Pete Times.

What you are about to read is a true lesson in love and strength through extreme adversity.

Thank you for teaching me, Sara.

27 comments:

Rach said...

Aw, that is heartbraking. What strenth she has.

Ana said...

That is an amazing story. Thank you for sharing it with us. And thank you Sara for teaching us all how to be a better person.

A said...

WOW. I am speechless...

Marla said...

What a horrible, horrible story. Just horrible. And of course, I think to myself, had they "waited" 10 years bc she was infertile ??? It's just nauseating. And it's bad enough that they knew the baby would be stillborn. That's more than enough to have to deal with, and then her husband's funeral, and then going through that labor without him, and ... I can't even finish the thought. It's tragic. So, so sad. :(

Kelly said...

Jesus. I don't even know what to say.

Crossed Fingers said...

OMG...OMG...I cannot even imagine. It gave me chills and brought tears to my eyes. I wish I had words to vocalize how I feel right now...

Candidly_Andrea said...

I got goosebumps and chills. Heartbreaking. Such strength. Thanks for sharing.

Basic Girl said...

Totally speechless, thank you for sharing Katie. Wow, she is beyond amazing to have that kind of strength!!

Alex said...

Oh wow - I sit here speechless and in tears.

Sarah S said...

Such a heartbreaking story, yet the wife shows so much strength!!

I will keep both these families in my prayers!

Dawn said...

What a tragedy. I cannot even wrap my head around all that she has gone through.

Kakunaa said...

Wow... I feel so..lucky right now. That really is heartbreaking.

Surely said...

omg. that story gave me goosebumps. much more heartache than one can bear...but she's doing it.

JC said...

Wow, speechless. I can' even imagine.

Waiting Lisa said...

Heartbreaking. Sometimes when I am feeling at my lowest points I remind myself to be thankful for my husband. I have no idea what I would do if anything happened to him. Brings tears to my eyes to think about.

Thinking of the two families.

Amanda said...

Wow...that gave me chills.

My husband is a police officer and it scares me that something like that could happen to us.

We went on vacation a few weeks ago to Clearwater, and when we were driving from the Tampa airport to Clearwater we were behind the police funeral procession of those cops that died. I had never seen so many police cars. It was really sad.

S.I.F. said...

Incredible... I have chills right now.

My dad and 4 of my uncles were cops when I was growing up - one of them died in the line of duty when my cousins were only 3 and 6.

My heart always breaks when I hear of officers lost, but this story is just gut churning... She will definitely be in my thoughts and prayers. Thank you for letting us know her story.

Miss Ruby said...

Unbelievable. They say god only gives up as much as you can handle, I think that's a crock, she has too much.

Thankyou for sharing.

ICLW
#41
http://www.themissruby.blogspot.com/
~ttc for 11 years
~8 miscarriages
~still chasing that elusive viable bubba

Kandid Kelli said...

I am utterly speechless, this is just... I don't even have a good enough word for how sad this story is.

I read all the comments after the story in the SPT as well and some people are just ignorant. Im going to leave it at that.

xo
-K

Arlyne said...

Thanks so much for sharing this! You always think you have it bad until you see who has it worse!

Katy said...

What a heartbreaking story, but an absolute testimony of strength and courage. Thank you for sharing this.

Lynn said...

This is such a gut-wrenching story. My heart goes out to her and I pray she will find peace and justice.

~ICLW~
#177

Adele said...

Wow. That's gut-wrenching.

someday-soon said...

Life is unbelievably unfair sometimes =( My heart goes out to these families.

serenity said...

how awful. Makes me angry that people have to suffer so much. It's not fair, not any of it.

xxx

Josey said...

Absolutely heartbreaking. In tears at work right now. Wow.

conceptionallychallenged said...

Oh no, this is heartbreaking.
Thank you for sharing this, Katie. The families are in my thoughts.