I stepped away for a week, but for me, it seems much longer. Let me tell you: every one of your comments of support meant the world to me. Some made me cry, others made me smile. I truly appreciate all of you. I hope you know that.
But even though I missed each and every one of you, I'm happy I took a break. It was a very stressful week at work and I needed to simplify my life for a week. I needed to take a few days and deal with the emotions and internal conflicts I felt about this community and my place within it. Not all of these internal conflicts are resolved, but I am getting there.
One day at a time.
My fourth and almost final IUI was on Friday morning. As of Tuesday, I had two follicles (16 and 19 mm) on my left ovary. I triggered on Wednesday night, so we can assume they were around 18 and 21 mm, respectively, at that time. I took Friday off, determined to do something for myself after the IUI. Joey's numbers (aside from the count, which was down slightly from last cycle) were drastically improved: 17.5 million, 59% motility, moving rapidly, and over 33% normal morphology. My RE did the IUI this time and he was pleased and confident. But, as I asked him to do from the beginning, he was realistic. He told me we needed to consider that, if this didn't work, next month should be our last IUI. I told him we discussed it and agreed.
One day at a time.
After the IUI, I hopped into the car, rolled the windows down, and drove to the beach to watch the launch of the shuttle Atlantis. 11 years in Florida and I have never seen a launch from that close. It was amazing and well worth the 3 hours I spent in the car (for what normally is a 40 minute round trip). It was very symbolic for me. It was the last launch for Atlantis and there are only two more launches until they end the program.
There are only two shots left for us to have a biological child.
Right now, I feel good. Very good. Tomorrow I will begin reading and commenting again, but I may not post another entry for a few days. We'll see how the next few days progress.