The room has finally stopped spinning and I am doing better. Thank you all so much for your support and love. If AF shows, I will assess whether I feel like continuing with our 5th (and final) IUI as planned. Yesterday I felt so defeated, I couldn't think about going through another cycle. Today, I'm not so sure. So, we will go off to NYC this weekend, have fun, and decide on the IUI when we have to. I need to listen to my body and my heart when AF arrives to be sure. To be honest, if our final IUI fails, I'll be relieved to have a six-month break before starting IVF.
Of course, I would love to be pregnant in those six months, and then three months after that. But, at this point, I'm beginning to realize that the odds for that happening are slim.
As for my breast, my surgeon reassured me that it is not life-threatening. Meaning, he strongly believes this is not cancer. For some reason, the cells in that breast are multiplying in ways they shouldn't--but not in a way that he thinks is cancerous. This is the same way the lump was formed. After the u/s, we may know more. Honestly, I think he is stumped. I am stumped. And I wouldn't be surprised if he sent me to some kind of specialist. Though, who would I see? There's no such thing as a breast specialist, is there?
Today I am looking forward and not backward. Today I am looking to tomorrow when we leave for our NYC trip. This is what keeps me going right now.