No, your eyes aren't playing tricks on you. I did have a wonderful weekend, and I did go to the baby shower.
Even though my BIL and SIL offered me a ride to the shower, I politely declined at the last minute. The last thing I needed was to be trapped with no transportation. I wanted a way to escape if I felt like emotions were getting the best of me.
I popped an extra Lexapro but arrived at the shower still feeling antsy. So when I walked in and was offered a mimosa, I quickly accepted. Between the two mimosas and chatting with my SIL, both helped put my nerves at ease.
There were no tears and only two awkward moments. The first came when one of the shower organizers announced that, instead of playing games (which I was dreading), we were going to fill out advice cards for the mom-to-be. What could possibly be more awkward than that?! I wanted to look toward the sky and ask God if he was trying to torture me. I wanted to take the blank card and put it right back in the pile. Instead, I wrote something like this:
"When your baby is fussy and you are having a bad day, take 5 minutes, then dry your tears and smile. Because the worst day with your baby is better than any day without him."
The second awkward moment came during the gift opening. I can't remember what gift it was, but something triggered the waterworks. It was toward the end and I was getting restless. I could really feel my eyes getting heavy and I knew that I could start crying at any moment. My MIL caught me. And without missing a beat, she quietly whispered in my ear about how excited she was that I was going back to school, and she asked me a question about the program. We whispered back and forth for a minute, and before I knew it, the moment had passed.
After the shower, I found out that my MIL had called Joey beforehand to make sure I would be okay to go. She even warned him about the advice cards (unfortunately he didn't have a chance to warn me).
I credit you ladies, alcohol, Lexapro, my SIL, and my MIL for getting me through those two hours. I credit my husband for having faith in me. But I credit myself, too. I wasn't sure if I could do it, and I did. I'm not only happy for the mom-to-be, but I'm also extremely proud of myself. I made it.