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If you have any questions, you can email me at katieschaber (at) gmail.com.

Thank you for all of your support over the years! xo

Monday, April 26, 2010

lemons

I sent out my Project IF, and I only received four responses. One was from my mom, so that doesn’t count. At first, I was upset, but now I’m at peace.

I know I did the right thing. I know I do the right thing every time I put up a status on Facebook or post something on Twitter. I know that others don’t have it in them to come forward. With National Infertility Awareness Week upon us, I want them to know that there is someone out there who they can talk to and someone who is willing to advocate openly for them. Someone else who feels the same way. Someone else who is going through the same pain. Someone else who questions whether they will ever become a parent.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: when life (or infertility, in this case) hands you lemons, just ask for some salt and tequila. In other words, make the best of it. Right now, I’m making the best of it by setting up the new house and reading Unsung Lullabies.

I’m making the best of it by trying to ignore the fact that I’m 10 dpIUI and set to test on Friday.

22 comments:

KC said...

I love you motto about when life hads you lemons. Sorry that you haven't received more positive feedback but I think sometime people don't know what to say or how to react so they don't respond.

Al said...

I have plenty of lemons, but I'm not allowed tequila at the moment. Drink some for me?

You are doing the right thing, I wish I had the balls to do the same but I'm too fragile to handle the insensitivity at the moment.

The Baby Race said...

I am so impressed that you sent that out! I'm much too chicken. I am really bummed no one wrote back, though. What's that about?

Rach said...

Love the motto too! I'm also reading Unsung Lullabies.
Hope this week flies by with no stress!

Kandid Kelli said...

You know how proud of you (if that sounds right) that you sent that out. I wish there was more, besides advocating right along side you, that I could do! Good luck this week Katie!! I will be tweeting/FB posting right there with you! It needs to be talked about.

xo
-K

Ashley said...

You are so brave and I really admire you for being so open and honest with people IRL. You are doing the right thing by bringing awareness to this issue.

arlnurse said...

I admire your courage & strength & you are an awesome gal that I am proud to call a friend!

Am sooo cheering for you this week!!! (((HUGS)))!!!!

Katie said...

Sorry for the lack of feedback. People don't know what to say. They don't realize just acknowledging it is sooo helpful! I'm proud of you for putting it out there! You are a better person for it.

JC said...

Lol, I love the tequila and salt line! I'm sorry more people didn't respond. I don't get why people choose to ignore this and not try to be there for people and be supportive. Idk why it's easier for people to ignore us and I'll never understand how they think that's the right thing to do...over being supportive. Grrrr.

Willow said...

I am so proud of you for sending that out! I'm sorry more people haven't responded but maybe they are still processing? Or maybe they'll never know what to say. I wish I were as brave as you but I've been burned so many times by insensitive comments by people who know what's going on that I'm skittish about sharing more. I know I should, and eventually I know I will. Anyway everyone assumes we adopted because we can't have a baby (even though we adopted before we were in truly dire straits), so it's not like anyone suspects us of being fertile anyway!

Dear Diary said...

I hope we both a get BFP on friday!!!! Wohoooo..BTW do you have cramps??

Marla.z said...

Hoping you get your BFP, especially during NIAW! Wouldn't that be a kick in the boobies to IF!!! ;)

Kelly said...

You did do the right thing and I so admire your openness. I'm one that doesn't have it in me to come forward. It just hurts so much to see the looks when I do tell people about my RPL.

Thanks for standing up for those of us who don't have the courage to.

I'm not asking questions this time...I just hope you get fantastic news on Friday.

Glass Case of Emotion said...

I'm sorry you didn't get the response you had hoped for. :( Hopefully they read and heard it though, even if they didn't know what to say.

S.I.F. said...

I was so confused at first I forgot you had sent it out and I thought you were saying you got no responses here, and I was like "Nuh-uh!!"

I am so sorry that you didn't get the responses you were hoping for, but a pretty smart lady I know mentioned something to me about an infertility village recently... I wouldn't discount the love you have in that village!

Marion said...

I really hope you will get a BFP on Friday! I'm testing tomorrow, and I'm nervous. Good on you for getting out of the IF closet - more people need to do it, because it is something that's completely misunderstood! I have also come out of the closet after many years, and I do not regret it. You will get some really stupid comments, but I just ignore them or educate them - depending on how I feel. ICLW

Katie said...

I admire your open nature and the way you shine such a light on IF!

Congrats again on moving in the house, btw!! So excited for you!!

Basic Girl said...

Katie you are so brave, and its so frickin awesome!! And I'm hoping even if they didn't respond, hopefully you at least got their attention for a little. And only a few more days, hope you're hanging in there and the new house is keeping you nice and busy. Everything crossed for you!!!

Crossed Fingers said...

I love that you sent your Project IF back - that's awesome. I love that you post your IF on FB & Twitter. I love you that aren't afraid to announce it. I love that you're doing it so others who are afraid of it know they have you to talk to.

You.Are.Awesome.

Aly said...

Stopping by from iclw. I'm sorry you didn't have better (more) responses. I found that some people don't know how to react to infertility. Sadly they are usually the same people who fumble out an response instructing us to just "relax". I really hope this is your month. Best of luck! Ps I am following you now, lucky number 100.

Carrie said...

I am also impressed by anyone's courage who is willing to stand up and state what you believe in. I am more than willing to discuss IF if someone asks, but I haven't taken the time to really be an advocate like I should. I commend you and all of your efforts! (P.S. I cannot wait until Friday!)

Waiting Lisa said...

I am still glad you sent it out.

I posted that video on FB yesterday and got no response. Well, one from Holly but that doesn't count because she is one of us, haha. I was surprised. And disappointed. But I completely agree that we should continue opening up in hopes that it may help someone...even just one person makes it worth it.