Things are better now. Based on everyone’s comments and consulting Dr. Google, a Friday IUI is probably for the best. 27 mm is very big, and the odds of it lasting until Friday or being at the right maturity level are slim to none. In fact, I would guess that something happened to that follicle this morning, as I am having pains on my right side.
Do you ever have those moments where you just freak out and you have no idea why? Or maybe you do know why and it is over something so minor that you look back and you can’t believe it happened? That’s what happened to me yesterday with all of this. I flipped out. Calm Katie went right out of the door and inserted Crazy Katie in her place. Luckily, it only lasted through the evening, but still. I hate that feeling. Even though Femara has been better than Clomid with my emotions, it still drives me insane when I have no control over what I do, say, and feel.
So I cried hysterically. I was frustrated at my RE’s office. Why would they tell me that morning to come in on Thursday if they didn’t know for sure? Why would they wait until 4:45 to change their mind? Don’t they know I have a job to notify? Why would they yell at me for calling at 4:45 to get my appointment time? Why can’t I just have sex and get pregnant like a normal person?
I went home. I cried some more. My mom did my trigger shot. I bled. I ate chocolate. I popped Lexapro. And then I drank some Moscato, logged onto Facebook, and became angry at someone’s resentful status update about her children. So, I posted this on my own status:
Infertility sucks. For those of you out there who were/are able to conceive naturally, please don't ever forget how blessed you are!
And then went to bed.
This morning, I woke up to a message in my inbox on Facebook: a reply to my status update. It was a friend of mine from college. He and his wife (also a friend from college) are infertile, too, and he just wanted me to know that I wasn’t alone.
He’s right. I’m not alone. I have my husband. And I have all of you. So thank you, for dealing with Crazy Katie yesterday. Here’s hoping she stays away for a long, long time.