Thursday, April 1, 2010

AF and april fools

Here is what's going to happen. I am going to type this. I am going to hit "publish." And then, my plan will have worked. I will have jinxed AF into arriving. Because this is what happens. My period is missing, I speculate as to whether I'm pregnant, and (sometimes) I test. Then, as soon as I talk about it or POAS, the manipulative ho-bag arrives.

So, here it goes:

Today is April Fools' Day and today marks five days with no signs of AF's arrival. Remember I wanted her to arrive last weekend? Well she didn't. And if her plane doesn't land soon, it won't be this weekend either.

This could be for a number of reasons, the most logical of which has to do with the lap and the fact that I had my last period immediately following the surgery. My body is possible still trying to adjust to its improved "parts." It could also have to do with the BCPs I took before the surgery and how they messed up my cycle, hormone levels, etc. It could be my body's way of making up for my 20-day cycle last month. Maybe it's trying to even things out?

I don't know, but I refuse, REFUSE to test. I don't want to see a negative. And then have her highness show up on my doorstep immediately following. I will wait this out. I will publish this post, and my stupid, bitchy relative will obey my desire to have her start on Sunday morning. I will call my doctor on Monday, and get in for a CD3 visit on Tuesday.

Enough with the cruel April Fools' Day joke, you crazy aunt. It's time to get this show on the road.

18 comments:

Glass Case of Emotion said...

Mine is also late, and I am also refusing to test! For the same reasons.

AplusB said...

I know how you feel...I hate testing because the disappointment sucks. You never know,though!! Hoping you are so wrong and are pregnant!

Jessica said...

I hope you are pregnant..but if not I hope AF gets her ass in gear!!

A said...

HA!! "the manipulative ho-bag"!!!! That is AWESOME!!! I might just start referring to AF as the MHB, in honor of YOU!!

I sure hope she is missing because there is someone else taking up residence!

Jin said...

Ho-bag?

I haven't heard that term since high school! Nearly made me choke on my pretzels, lol.

I'll be waiting with good thoughts until Saturday or Sunday.

Rebecca said...

LOL Ho-bag. I truly hope you're wrong and she's not coming. But, if she is coming, that darn ho-bag needs to get her a** here!!!

Holly said...

I hope that ho-bag AF stays far far away and you get a bfp instead!

Crossed Fingers said...

Ugh I agree - AF can really pull the April Fools trick out anytime of the year - she's late late late and then as soon as you test - oh there you are...b!tch!

Hoping for an update soon - has she shown up yet?

Michelle said...

Thanks for making me smile.."as soon as I talk about it or POAS, the manipulative ho-bag arrives." Your freakin hilarious.

Basic Girl said...

It really won't be cool if auntie is just messing with you, so she either she better frickin show soon...or you're getting a BFP. Those are the options, so she needs to decide. So praying it's a surprise BFP!!!

Al said...

Hope you get a surprise BFP!! And if not, that ho-bag better her shit together and show up soon!

suchagoodegg said...

C'mon auntie, we're all waiting on you! Here's how I want this to play out: She sends a big 'ol BFP in her absence.

JC said...

Hoping she gets her act together and shows up. What a rude biatch. (of course I secretly hope you get a BFP instead)

ifcrossroads said...

I say you start a nation wide revolution to bring back the word "hoe-bag" because it's funny!!!!!!

AFCH (AF come home!) NOW ... or give Katie a positive pee stick.

Kelly said...

I'm still here, hoping beyond hope that she stays away for nine months. :)

Alice said...

I am the same way with testing! I just can't take negatives..when the single line appears I hear the stick saying, "come on..you know you're not pregnant?" But, I always hope...and am truly hoping for you!!

S.I.F. said...

So annoying! I seriously hate AF and her mind games...

Unless she really is gone, then I think we should throw her a going away party!

I'm ever the optimist, so I'll keep my fingers crossed for your BFP!

Betsy said...
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