Saturday, March 20, 2010
lost and lopsided
I sort of expected to wake up from the lumpectomy similar to how I woke up from my lap. Drowsy, out of it, but receiving generally good news from my doc. Instead, I woke up crying my eyes out, scratching my face (both bad reactions from the anesthesia) and no real news to report. We know as much as we knew before: it's not a clogged milk duct and, much to my dismay, not a cyst. I really wanted it to be a cyst. Everyone was sure that's what it was, so that's what I hung on to. They are biopsying the tissue and my doc will have the results by Wednesday afternoon. I have to call first thing Monday morning to make an appointment for Thursday to get my results.
My right boob is now smaller than my right, and I have an ugly incision halfway around my nipple. As my husband said, good thing I'm not single. I'd have to make up some outrageous story about getting in a knife fight with a sorority girl in college. They gave me Darvocets again for pain, even though I specifically told them they 1) aren't strong enough, 2) make me constipated, and 3) cause me not to sleep. So on day two, I am cranky as hell, tired, constipated, and extremely sore. I also can't shower until later today, so you can add "incredibly dirty and greasy" to the mix.
I wish I had a brighter post to write, but I just don't have it in me right now. I'm not happy or cheery. I just am sort of at a loss for my emotions. The plus side is that my little brother is home from college and he's going to drive me around in my drug-induced stupor today. He's taking me to get New Moon on DVD and then we are going by to see the new place (Joey's there already measuring the walls so his dad can order paint and moving stuff from our storage unit into the garage).
I'll try my best to get caught up on everyone's blogs tomorrow. I just wanted to say thank you all so much for the tweets, texts, love, and prayers.