Friday, February 12, 2010

i'll love you forever

I don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day.

No offense to those who do, but I just don’t “get” this holiday. I never have. It seems so superficial to have a day set aside to tell people that you love them and care about them.

I love my husband every day, and I tell him that. When I lean over to kiss him good-bye in the morning, I say “I love you.” When I get to work, I send him a text message to let him know that I made it in okay and I end it with “I love you.” Every time I talk to him on the phone throughout the day, we always finish the conversation with “I love you” or “I love you, too.” When I lean over and kiss him goodnight before we turn off the light, we tell each other “I love you.”

Every phone conversation with my mom ends this way. I tell my dad I love him. I even say it to my brother; though I’m sure he wishes I wouldn’t. I tell my dog I love him. I tell my friends I love them.

After both of my IUIs, and up until the day of my negative beta, I told the unborn baby in my belly that I loved him, too.

Getting an “I love you” from someone is far more meaningful to me on any other day of the year rather than Valentine’s Day. On Valentine’s Day, it feels forced.

Joey knows that I feel this way, and he still gets me flowers and a card. But what’s more meaningful to me is that sweet, sentimental card he gives me after we’ve had a bad fight. Or the bouquet of flowers he brings home after another negative pregnancy test or a bad day at work. Or when he makes me a cake for no special reason. I know he loves me, and that is my proof. The proof of my husband’s love for me doesn’t come in a heart-shaped box of candy covered in red and pink. It’s within every tear he sheds over our infertility.

I know that, someday, I will have a child. And that child will grow up, go to school, and celebrate Valentine’s Day with their friends and classmates. I will help him or her bake cookies, fill out cards, and pick out gifts for their teachers. I will help him or her make daddy breakfast in bed and draw him a picture of a heart. But I will also teach him or her the importance of saying I love you every day, not just on this one day of the year.

And with that, I’ll leave you with the text of one of my favorite children’s books. If you’ve never read I LOVE YOU FOREVER by Robert Munsch, know that you will probably need a tissue before scrolling any further.

I love all of you. Happy un-Valentine’s Day.

-----

I LOVE YOU FOREVER by Robert Munsch

A mother held her new baby and very slowly rocked him back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. And while she held him, she sang:

I'll love you forever,
I'll like you for always,
As long as I'm living
my baby you'll be.

The baby grew. He grew and he grew and he grew. He grew until he was two years old, and he ran all around the house. He pulled all the books off the shelves. He pulled all the food out of the refrigerator and he took his mother's watch and flushed it down the toilet. Sometimes his mother would say, "this kid is driving me CRAZY!"

But at night time, when that two-year-old was quiet, she opened the door to his room, crawled across the floor, looked up over the side of his bed; and if he was really asleep she picked him up and rocked him back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. While she rocked him she sang:

I'll love you forever,
I'll like you for always,
As long as I'm living
my baby you'll be.

The little boy grew. He grew and he grew and he grew. He grew until he was nine years old. And he never wanted to come in for dinner, he never wanted to take a bath, and when grandma visited he always said bad words. Sometimes his mother wanted to sell him to the zoo!

But at night time, when he was asleep, the mother quietly opened the door to his room, crawled across the floor and looked up over the side of the bed. If he was really asleep, she picked up that nine-year-old boy and rocked him back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. And while she rocked him she sang:

I'll love you forever,
I'll like you for always,
As long as I'm living
my baby you'll be.

The boy grew. He grew and he grew and he grew. He grew until he was a teenager. He had strange friends and he wore strange clothes and he listened to strange music. Sometimes the mother felt like she was in a zoo!

But at night time, when that teenager was asleep, the mother opened the door to his room, crawled across the floor and looked up over the side of the bed. If he was really asleep she picked up that great big boy and rocked him back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. While she rocked him she sang:

I'll love you forever,
I'll like you for always,
As long as I'm living
my baby you'll be.

That teenager grew. He grew and he grew and he grew. He grew until he was a grown-up man. He left home and got a house across town. But sometimes on dark nights the mother got into her car and drove across town. If all the lights in her son's house were out, she opened his bedroom window, crawled across the floor, and looked up over the side of his bed. If that great big man was really asleep she picked him up and rocked him back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. And while she rocked him she sang:

I'll love you forever,
I'll like you for always,
As long as I'm living
my baby you'll be.

Well, that mother, she got older. She got older and older and older. One day she called up her son and said, "You'd better come see me because I'm very old and sick." So her son came to see her. When he came in the door she tried to sing the song. She sang:

I'll love you forever,
I'll like you for always . . .

But she couldn't finish because she was too old and sick. The son went to his mother. He picked her up and rocked her back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. And he sang this song:

I'll love you forever,
I'll like you for always,
As long as I'm living
my Mommy you'll be.

When the son came home that night, he stood for a long time at the top of the stairs. Then he went into the room where his very new baby daughter was sleeping. He picked her up in his arms and very slowly rocked her back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. And while he rocked her he sang:

I'll love you forever,
I'll like you for always,
As long as I'm living
my baby you’ll be.

29 comments:

Whitney said...

You're so cute. And that story makes me cry every time I read it. I hate sentimentality, ew.

Anyway, I love you and I miss you.

teamjinfred said...

I feel the same way.

Jealous that Joey bakes a cake! I dont think Fred even knows the first thing about baking. In fact, I know for sure he doesn't.

Kandid Kelli said...

I read that book to E. I got it from a family member as a gift. Great post.

Stefanie Blakely said...

Great post.

I love you, too.

suchagoodegg said...

I'm the same way. I sing my love from the mountain tops every day of the year.

You are going to be such a great Mom, Katie. Your child will always feel loved. xo!

Crossed Fingers said...

I love that story! Aww..

DH and I let each other know we love each other every day too. We're not one to end every convo in "I love you" but we do show each other in actions and reactions.

I enjoy Valentine's Day because it can force us to set aside one day in our busy lives to focus on our S/O and truly let them know that we adore them.

We're staying in and teaming up to cook a great dinner and enjoy it by our fire. It's a nice excuse to hole up and just be "us" for the day.

Kelly said...

I tried to post but it went away. :(

I agree with you 100%. Two other things:
1. LOVE the new layout/background.
2. You'll be an amazing mother.

Rebecca said...

So beautiful and sweet. And, I totally agree. My DH's family was never an "I love you" kind of group but I'm slowly turning him over to my side... :)

I can't read that story, though, or I'll be bawling my eyes out!!!

Love the new design!!

Jessica said...

That is by far ny favorite children's book. I buy it for all the newborn babies I know. I cry everytime I read it!!

2catdaughters said...

I love that story. I cry every.single.time. and I'm not a crier.

J and I are kind of mushy year-round and don't do much for V-day. We say "I love you" morning, noon, and night everyday, and send texts back and forth all day long that say "love you" or "miss you" or "can't wait to see you tonight." It's probably enough to make some people gag, but after 11 years together, it still works for us.

P.S. I love your new layout, too!

Nicole said...

Awww.. While I'm not anto-Valentine's Day, I am the same way about the constant I Love You's and completely agree with you about the importance of showing and expressing love every day of the year. Cute story, BTW

Erin said...

I love that story!!!

We don't celebrate Valentine's Day either. It just annoys me.

AplusB said...

Aw, that is so beautiful. And so true.
Love the new site design, BTW!

Willow said...

Love that book!

And you're right about saying "I love you" every day--we're the same way.

But, I do love Valentine's Day, because I'm sappy like that :)

The Millers said...

Oh, that story gives me chills everytime!

waiting and wishing said...

I love, love, love that story! When I was growing up the pastor at my parent's church always read that story on Christmas Eve as part of his sermon. It never got old, such a sweet sentiment.

Jen said...

Happy Un-Valentine's Day to you too!! :-)

i_c_thru_u said...

It's kind of funny because someone had acted all shocked at work because I didn't go see my dad on Father's Day before my shift. I laughed about it later with my dad on the phone and had simply said "I don't need someone to set aside a day for me to tell my dad I love him, I tell him every time I talk to him and see him." My dad very passionately responded "Darn right we don't need a stinkin' day to say I love you in this family!" Every day I love yous and gestures are so much better.

JC said...

Awe this was so sweet! Happy Un-Valentin'es day! I love you too!

nicolemarie said...

LOVE LOVE LOVE this book. My mom gave me a copy when I was younger and I still have it - I plan on carrying on (or creating) the tradition of doing the same for my future little guy/girl. Such a great little story :)

Bean stalk ballads said...

Hey!! I am happy to join your happy unvalientines club girlfriend... I am all for the daily love ins rather than a commercial expectation

Glenn and Brittany said...

I love this post.. I feel the same way.. People at work looked at me funny on Friday when I told them - No I did not have a present and a card for my husband.. It is so much more meaningful when it comes from the heart :) And I absolutely love that story <3

Katie said...

What beautiful post, Katie. FYI.... I'll be making a trip to the bookstore tomorrow to buy that book.

:-)

pandadiaries said...

I can't help but tear up when I read that book.

My husband and I don't celebrate V-day either. We are n't really all the mushy of a couple but we do tell each other "I love you" more times in a day than I can count.

Dawn said...

I lost my last comment. Oops!

Happy un-Valentine's Day! I agree with you 100%. We should always show our love to each other!

Arlyne said...

you are just an amazing woman!!! You always seem to say what I feel, but am not talented enough to write! happy un-valentine's day to you too, & thanks for being a great support!

Kelly said...

When you can, stop by my blog. I have you an award. :)

Carrie said...

I absolutely LOVE that book! I actually just bought a hard cover copy of the book!

Basic Girl said...

awww, I've totally read this before and still got teary eyed. I love your theory on love, and am so the same way. When I love someone I let them know it, cause it's just awesome to be loved!!!