My nurse said something interesting to me yesterday. She said, "Ultimately, you are in charge of your fertility treatments."
Yes, I am. And I'm just starting to realize this. It seems as though REs just want us to write them a blank check for every treatment on the planet, but they are not concerned with 1) whether or not we think that treatment is working and 2) why the hell we can't get pregnant in the first place.
Seriously, why CAN'T we get pregnant?
I have eggs. I release eggs. My husband has sperm. Are they just not figuring it out up there and getting together? Are they getting together and then they can't implant in my crappy uterus?
Part of me wants to look in the mirror and tell myself to move on--that I'll never know the real reason why we haven't been getting pregnant. That's the tired part of me. The gut feeling part of me is telling me that something is wrong.
Of course, I don't know what that something is. But it's just a woman's intuition. I have no other way of explaining it.
I'm still waiting for the nurse to call. If I don't hear from them by 3:30, I'll be dialing their number.