Let's face it. The odds that tomorrow's beta is going to be good? Slim to none. I'm not being negative, just realistic. I'm finally done wallowing in my self-pity of IUI#1 and the potential failure, and I'm ready to do things differently this next cycle.
In a way, I'll be extremely happy to stop the progesterone for a couple of weeks. Today is day two of the latest raging migraine and it's making me cranky and irritable. I'm extremely sad. I've cried an obnoxious number of times the past few days, and I'm ready to stop acting like a menopausal freak. I'm also ready to get my energy back and to be able to button my pants with comfort.
Joey and I both have tomorrow off from work because of Veterans Day, and I'm glad. Because if the beta is as bad as I think it will be, I will be in no shape to put on a happy face for my coworkers. My only hope is that if the beta IS bad, it's a zero. I don't want to be teased with a number like 17. What the hell am I supposed to do with that? All or nothing. Right now I'm convinced it's nothing, but wishing for that miracle of "all."