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Tuesday, November 10, 2009

15 dpIUI

Let's face it. The odds that tomorrow's beta is going to be good? Slim to none. I'm not being negative, just realistic. I'm finally done wallowing in my self-pity of IUI#1 and the potential failure, and I'm ready to do things differently this next cycle.

In a way, I'll be extremely happy to stop the progesterone for a couple of weeks. Today is day two of the latest raging migraine and it's making me cranky and irritable. I'm extremely sad. I've cried an obnoxious number of times the past few days, and I'm ready to stop acting like a menopausal freak. I'm also ready to get my energy back and to be able to button my pants with comfort.

Joey and I both have tomorrow off from work because of Veterans Day, and I'm glad. Because if the beta is as bad as I think it will be, I will be in no shape to put on a happy face for my coworkers. My only hope is that if the beta IS bad, it's a zero. I don't want to be teased with a number like 17. What the hell am I supposed to do with that? All or nothing. Right now I'm convinced it's nothing, but wishing for that miracle of "all."

12 comments:

A baby for Al? said...

So nice that you guys both have the day off tomorrow..I'm jealous. I would be feeling the same way in your shoes, better to think it negative and be surprised than think it positive and be devastated. But regardless, there is that tiny part of me that's always hoping. I really hope it turns out to be good news. I'll be checking back tomorrow for the results. Hang in there!

Elizabeth said...

I'm so bummed for you. You know I still hope you have a fantastic surprise tomorrow, but I'm here for you even if you don't. Glad you get the day off, and I hope it will be in celebration instead of a down day.

Kelly said...

I'm glad you both have the day off tomorrow. It sounds like you'll need it, whether you get a great surprise or whether the news isn't so good.

(((HUGS))) You know I'm here for you if you need me.

Katie said...

I understand your realistic approach and I'm glad you are starting to feel a bit better and that you're trying to look to the future instead of being too miserable in the now.

Hang in there! ((hugs))

Katie said...

And really? I mean, have I ever HEARD of a run-on sentence??

;-)

2catdaughters said...

I'm glad you have the day off to process whatever happens. I understand your need to be realistic about it, but that doesn't mean *I* can't hope it's good news. I'll be home all day tomorrow, too, so I'm here if you need me. (((hugs)))

Erin said...

I'm glad you have the day off tomorrow. I'm going in for my pregnancy test on Friday, and I know I'm going to lost it at work...and there's no where to go since I'm a teacher.

Hoping tomorrow is a great surprise, but sending hugs if it's not.

A said...

I sure hope that your beta is going to be the best surprise of your life. I understand that propensity to feel bummed after your BFN's though. Will be praying for peace whatever the outcome :)

JC said...

Good luck tomorrow! I'm glad you both have off, it'll be nice for you guys to spend the whole day together. More luck!

Hayley said...

I don't even know what to say in these circumstances. We've talked about it enough lately. I love you two, and really hope tomorrow is the best surprise you guys have ever gotten.

xxoo

Tina said...

Unless we both get a great surprise tomorrow, we will both be heading into IUI #2. I'm hoping you get your surprise, but I'm ready to move on and go positively into the next round. Hang in there!

Tina said...

I really hope you got better news than you were expecting. Glad you have the day off!! I will be looking out for your news.