Tuesday, January 20, 2009

still a no-show

AF is still not here, but I am still spotting. The amount is about equal to yesterday, and it's still my pre-AF dark brown color. I took another HPT this morning, just for good measure, and it was negative. At least there were no tears with this one. I already knew. I've been very lazy and haven't been temping (partially because I think I might take next cycle off from temping), so I have no idea what to think about what my body is doing right now. Anyway . . .
A friend of mine sent me a message on Facebook today and mentioned that she and her husband are going to start trying to have kids. She then asked if Joey and I were going to start trying. I told her an abbreviated version of our story (because I just can't stand to lie about TTC), and this is what she said in response:

Aw, really? I had no idea. Maybe it's just not your time yet. I hope everything turns ok. Are you sure you don't want to give it a little more time before you go for testing? You both are so young, okay, maybe Joey isn't, but there isn't an age problem with men like there is with women. Good luck, I will pray for you guys to get a beautiful healthy little baby.

Here are a couple of tips to everyone out there who has a friend who's struggling with TTC:

1. Never say "Maybe it's just not your time yet." It might sound like an appropriate thing to say, but it's not. Trust me. Because if it's not my time, when is my time?

2. Don't insert your opinion. No one cares when YOU think our plan should be. It's our life and it's our doctor who has suggested the testing. When you get "M.D." at the end of your name, then you can tell me what you think I should do.

I have more tips, but I'm too pissed off to write them down at this point. Anyone want to share theirs?


Carbon said...

DO show empathy and lend an ear. "Wow, that must be really hard. If you ever want to talk about it, or do something fun and forget about it I'm here!"

I hope the spotting is all you see of AF! I'm really pulling for you. Hang in there!

...I've been staring at spotting pregnancy charts on FF for days.

To A T said...

I'm here with you Katie... another thing never to say to an infertile is "maybe it was meant to be" REALLY a**hole?
Some people really don't think before they speak! Grr! (can you tell someone said that to me last week after my m/c?)

If people could just stop at "I'm sorry" and leave it at that, they would be much better off.